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I Believe Forgiveness Must Be Earned

I really dislike the whole saying of “forgiveness sets you free” etc.

I really dislike when others attempt to force or guilt people into forgiving people who have done them wrong.

There are certain people from my past, that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive for the things they’ve done to me. That doesn’t mean I haven’t moved on, I can assure you that I’ve certainly have.
I believe forgiveness is earned, not simply given.
And to say it in a direct way, they haven’t earned my forgiveness yet.
I would never guilt anyone into forgiving, but I do believe that forgiving is not for the person who did wrong, but for me.

As long as I hold bitterness in my heart, it damages me, not them. Most often they neither know nor care.
I understand what you’re saying. But some people think forgiveness always means letting the offender back into your life, behaving as if nothing happened.
I don’t agree with that.
There are people I’ve forgiven, as much as I’m humanly able. I no longer wish them harm, they no longer haunt my thoughts or live rent-free in my consciousness. I’m free to go on with my life. That doesn’t mean I don’t also recognize that for the sake of my continued well-being, they no longer have a place in it.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting.
Fauxmyope2 · 26-30, F
@bijouxbroussard Another valid point!
Phillyphan78 · 41-45, F
While I certainly don't think anyone should force anyone into feeling a certain way, I'm one of those people who believe forgiveness is for ones self and not for who did you wrong. If you've been able to process and successfully move on that's fantastic.
Peaches · F
I can relate.😔 It is hard to forgive people that have abused you, but it's harder to stay bitter inside over it. So I've released it, trying to forgive as best I can so I don't stay sick inside. It doesn't mean I have to let them back in my life though. I did it for me.🌟
RayGetard · 22-25, M
I don't forgive people beyond a certain point. I simply won't allow people even a snowball's chance in hell of "earning" it.
Forgiving doesn't equal forgetting. They are separate ideas. Some things can never be forgiven. Some never forgotten. I don't believe that not forgiving is a poison either if it teaches you a valuable lesson. And closure isn't always possible.
Fauxmyope2 · 26-30, F
You’ve read my thoughts on this subject. I wholeheartedly agree.
Effloresce · 26-30, F

 
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