I Need a Change

45 below 0 wind chill still. i simply cannot do this anymore. i have chronic pain for over 2 years, docs won't give me pain killers, he says they mask symptoms. if he had to endure this pain for an hour he would cry like a 12 yer old with her first period. it is unendurable sometimes. chronic pain, and now the cold, bone freezing cold. i cannot keep going. i will not survive the new year. some times i wish to embrace, accept that final end, end of pain, fear, embrace nothingness
but not today, daisy mae needs me, till i can find a new home for her