I Want To Tell You A Secret
I Still Have Some Dark Days .. But Not Very Often Now... I will give a quick intro here... And then paste an answer I gave to a person, who messaged me this morning.. Saying how deperessed he/she was ...
I've battled depression ... Big time .. It has been a long and rocky road ..
Even to this day .. I have flashbacks ....
I've wanted to end it all ... And really .. I don't say that lightly ...
I may seem all fun and games to most people .. Few know my history of depression ..
Let me now .. Paste an answer I put up for the user who this morning messaged me .....
I know life can get really miserable sometimes ... The light at the end of the tunnel turns off .. And .. Your left fumbling around in the darkness ... It's so fuckkng hard ... I've been there .. I had councilling for 18 months .. Twice or three times ever week ... But .. Even now .. Occasionally ... It gets a bit "dark" for me .. Let me tell you something nobody knows ... Well they do now .. But .. The reason for my dark times ...I was a train driver .. Running in and out of a London. Mainline station ..And as my time, as a train driver .. I had 7 fatalities ... Seven people took their lives .. In front of the train I was driving .. I couldnt do anything about it ... When a train is traveling at 80 miles an hour.. It takes a long time to stop .....It's horrid ... It broke me Completely I wanted to die .... I could not cope with it anymore ....There was nothing to go on for Nothing ...And then I started seeing a councilor ...I gave up my Job as a train driver I changed my life I had no qualifications Nothing to say I was clever I just went out into the world .. With my head held high.. And proved myself ...And sucseeded I now have a successful business I Have another job as well And I am happy .. Ok .. I have issues in my life .. Dont we all.....But it's not worth ending your life .. God .. Or . Whichever deity you have faith with .. Put you on this earth for a reason ... Not exams .. Not money .. Not even to win .. But not to fail ...Not to give up Or give in to these cruel demons ... And things that are upsetting you You can be strong .. I know .. I have faith in you ..See your doctor .. Or a close family member .. Explain your issues .. Dont be afraid ... It's not worth cashing in your life because of things .. There are always choices .. Not always visible at the present time ...but be strong ....I know you are already .. Otherwise you wouldnt have made it this far....I really hope you follow at least some if my advise .. Go see your doctor or priest .. Or minister .. Somebody impartial ... Who can guide you through your dark days ..Because there is light at the end of the tunnel .. I alone .. Am proof of that .. I survived ... And a few years ago .. I was ready to quit ... Forever ...Mark xxxx
So yeah .. I battled depression .. I wanted to end it all ... This will come as a shock to some who read this.. And for that ... I can only appologise...
I've battled depression ... Big time .. It has been a long and rocky road ..
Even to this day .. I have flashbacks ....
I've wanted to end it all ... And really .. I don't say that lightly ...
I may seem all fun and games to most people .. Few know my history of depression ..
Let me now .. Paste an answer I put up for the user who this morning messaged me .....
I know life can get really miserable sometimes ... The light at the end of the tunnel turns off .. And .. Your left fumbling around in the darkness ... It's so fuckkng hard ... I've been there .. I had councilling for 18 months .. Twice or three times ever week ... But .. Even now .. Occasionally ... It gets a bit "dark" for me .. Let me tell you something nobody knows ... Well they do now .. But .. The reason for my dark times ...I was a train driver .. Running in and out of a London. Mainline station ..And as my time, as a train driver .. I had 7 fatalities ... Seven people took their lives .. In front of the train I was driving .. I couldnt do anything about it ... When a train is traveling at 80 miles an hour.. It takes a long time to stop .....It's horrid ... It broke me Completely I wanted to die .... I could not cope with it anymore ....There was nothing to go on for Nothing ...And then I started seeing a councilor ...I gave up my Job as a train driver I changed my life I had no qualifications Nothing to say I was clever I just went out into the world .. With my head held high.. And proved myself ...And sucseeded I now have a successful business I Have another job as well And I am happy .. Ok .. I have issues in my life .. Dont we all.....But it's not worth ending your life .. God .. Or . Whichever deity you have faith with .. Put you on this earth for a reason ... Not exams .. Not money .. Not even to win .. But not to fail ...Not to give up Or give in to these cruel demons ... And things that are upsetting you You can be strong .. I know .. I have faith in you ..See your doctor .. Or a close family member .. Explain your issues .. Dont be afraid ... It's not worth cashing in your life because of things .. There are always choices .. Not always visible at the present time ...but be strong ....I know you are already .. Otherwise you wouldnt have made it this far....I really hope you follow at least some if my advise .. Go see your doctor or priest .. Or minister .. Somebody impartial ... Who can guide you through your dark days ..Because there is light at the end of the tunnel .. I alone .. Am proof of that .. I survived ... And a few years ago .. I was ready to quit ... Forever ...Mark xxxx
So yeah .. I battled depression .. I wanted to end it all ... This will come as a shock to some who read this.. And for that ... I can only appologise...