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I Am Afraid of Settling

It feels like there are no women out there that I am physically attracted to that feels the same way with me. Every single relationship or encounter with a girl i've always had to settle and look passed their looks and just be attracted to their personality. Before someone tells me it's not all about looks, you don't have to tell me, I know this hence why I've always just liked a girls personality and connected on that level which is fine but I just bucked at the idea that a woman I was actually attracted to has that same mutual feeling towards me. I don't have crazy standards and want a Victoria Secret model nor am I Ryan Gosling. I don't think I look half bad though, I'm 5'11 which I thought would be an advantage for me since girls claim to like men on the taller side. I'm not super tall but I feel i'm above average height. I guess i'm just venting but it would just be nice to have a girl who i'm also physically attracted to like me. Knowing a girl on the inside matters too, I would know because that's all I've been doing. I just hate how I settle on the looks department because I'm almost in a way forced to. It sucks because I can't force anyone to feel physical attraction towards me and I can't change how I look. I can improve how my body looks by working out but when getting to know a girl you don't just rip your shirt off like a movie so improving my body through fitness really doesn't do anything. It's weird though because in hs which was like 2011 I was with women who I'd be ecstatic to be with now that would not bat an eye to look at me now. Maybe I've gotten uglier, or downgraded on the looks department though I'd say with time I've looked better and as a kid I looked even more awkward then I do now. Maybe women have upped their standards very high since then. I don't know what it is. I know something as superficial as looks, I shouldn't be sweating over. I'm not a shallow person at all but like I said, I just challenged my mind today by asking the question why women I find attractive never find me attractive back. The women I find attractive towards are not like 9's or 10's, they are girls who were less attractive then girls I had back in hs and they still over look me like I'm not even there. I try to talk to them but I always get friendzoned or ignored completely. I guess I just have to keep being with people who I don't truly find attractive and settle.

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Thursday · 22-25, F

Hmmmm ok. First and foremost, I have no idea why you're getting all these weird responses. People settle for less attractive people all the time, some just don't admit it. Females do it, almost everyone does it.
Personality matters, but you need a balance and that's understandable. A balance between attractive and a person who knows how to be their own individual, makes for a good relationship. Probably even a better relationship because your standards are being met. And having some standards is not a crime. So I say, you don't have to settle for anything, just keep searching until you find someone you're truly comfortable with because that's how these things work.

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@Thursday Yeah I'm just being attacked for no freaking reason and one person said i was being whiny for defending myself as if i'm supposed to let these extreme cancerous feminists attack me and my manhood for simply venting, not attacking the female gender. You read my post thoroughly and tell me if I did because I honestly don't know why these women are taking it so personal , maybe they have some demons they are working out and deflecting their anger and frustrations towards me. In any case, and thank you for your honest response, not attacking me like these women. Before checking the gender on your post I thought you were a guy because every woman who replied just keeps attacking me and using shame tactics so thank you for giving me some hope in women and shame on these women who are shaming a man for venting his feelings. And shoot if females do it all the time, send em my way lol because I feel women never settle for me. lol

Thursday · 22-25, F

@justicexoxoxo No problem man.

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@Thursday And shoot if women do it all the time, please send em my way lol because women seem to never settle for me as if i'm the lowest of the crop. Eh it is what it is. I accept this is part of human nature, i may never get to be with women i'm physically attracted to, aye life isn't fair but i was just simply venting ya know. life is part of accepting things we don't want i guess.

Thursday · 22-25, F

@justicexoxoxo You're like 22 to 25? Jesus man you're still young, haha don't talk like you're about to die tomorrow. Decent people come along when they want to, ya know?

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@Thursday well im an old soul you can say and even with my age i still realize how short life really is. you say i'm only that age but it seemed as if yesterday i was jusy 18-19. but you're right i have time i guess. im just focusing on myself right now. this post was just me bucking at the idea of something i've been thinking about recently. i know it's nothing to work myself or lose sleep over or anything.

Thursday · 22-25, F

@justicexoxoxo Ah well, we all have to take a moment to ourselves sometimes. Good luck.

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@Thursday Thank you. It's ironic the most mature comment from a girl is a minor and the weird comments I got were from women who were way older. Ironic huh. Good luck to you as well whatever your ventures are.