I Wrote a Story
Excerpt 1 from a book I won't ever write:
"How Do you know when it hits you?"
"When what hits me?"
A Pause. The water's edge reached for the mens' shoes as they walked.
"Well, whatever hits you. Your anxiety, I guess. When it all hits you. What's it like?"
"Ah, yes." The man lit his cigarette and thought for a moment, taking in the cool morning air of the Bay. "Yeah, you know because of the onslaught of anxiety that takes you. You know because your entire soul is ablaze... There's a song you can't write because its words won't come to you. There's a picture you can't paint. There's a story you can't tell. It's all too much and, at the same time, not enough."
"What's not enough?"
"It's not enough because there's a gap between all the sad music you drown your thoughts out with and your true anguish. There's a gap and all you can do to bridge that gap is scream at the top of your already hoarse voice and thrust your bleeding hands into the same patched-up wall. I guess the anxiety comes because I can't express my pain and I can't handle not being able to do something. Does that make sense to you?"
"How Do you know when it hits you?"
"When what hits me?"
A Pause. The water's edge reached for the mens' shoes as they walked.
"Well, whatever hits you. Your anxiety, I guess. When it all hits you. What's it like?"
"Ah, yes." The man lit his cigarette and thought for a moment, taking in the cool morning air of the Bay. "Yeah, you know because of the onslaught of anxiety that takes you. You know because your entire soul is ablaze... There's a song you can't write because its words won't come to you. There's a picture you can't paint. There's a story you can't tell. It's all too much and, at the same time, not enough."
"What's not enough?"
"It's not enough because there's a gap between all the sad music you drown your thoughts out with and your true anguish. There's a gap and all you can do to bridge that gap is scream at the top of your already hoarse voice and thrust your bleeding hands into the same patched-up wall. I guess the anxiety comes because I can't express my pain and I can't handle not being able to do something. Does that make sense to you?"
