I Have Nowhere to Go

I really have nowhere to go. Nothing I do is ever good enough and I am aware of that. I am doing the best I can, I'm trying to graduate from both of my schools, but it will never happen. I'm trying to find a job, but nobody wants me. I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have friends where I live, I have nobody to talk to. For now, I have a roof above my head, but once I fail, it'll disappear, too. My family has always been extremely emotionally and verbally abusive towards me and I know there will be a great deal of physical violence if I fail. Maybe they will kill me this time. If they do- maybe that's better? If I run for my life, if I manage to save myself- what kind of life would it be? Maybe death is better, maybe some people are supposed to live and the others are created for something else than life. I don't belong in life, everything is 15 times harder for me than to everyone I know. I'm so tired. Where do I go if I escape? Why can't I ever be treated like a human being? I'm beginning to think maybe I'm not a human being at all. Maybe I don't have a soul. If I really don't belong in life- where do I belong? What do I do? Where do I go? Why is it so unfair? Why are some people really shitty, they never try, but they have everything I couldn't even dream about? Why is everything so hard for me, but all these things fall from the sky for the other people? Maybe I'm worse, I'm super dumb and super unworthy, I don't know. If I have to hurt like that, fine, but why do I have to see other people's happiness at the same time? I'm sick and tired of all these comparisons. Sometimes I want to die and maybe I don't have too much time left, because I clearly don't have anywhere to go.

Please don't reply, I'm not looking for any feedback, I just wanted to post that because I'm sick of keeping everything in.