I Am On The Edge Of Giving Up Hope
The only people that show any interest here are lonely men that think I'm a woman because I hide my gender. It's discouraging to find that your daily visits, your regular contributions, the hundreds of responses you've given, and the thousands of words you've typed, that it all means so little. That nothing you offer resonates with anyone.
I can't help but wonder what makes me so unappealing. I wish I knew. I have my theories, but all of them lead to the conclusion that I don't stand a chance here. That there isn't room, or a niche, or a following for me. That I'm unable to be received for who I am, but for what I offer. And in the case of those lonely men, I'm only good for satisfying their kinks.
Not that I'm particularly desperate for attention. I never intended to have mass appeal here. It's just the awful feeling of looking around and knowing that you don't belong anywhere that despairs me. A big part of the reason I'm here is because I don't fit in anywhere in the 'real world'. To not even find welcome in your own safe-haven is jarring.
I feel like even this post won't help me to find relevance. It'll likely invite pity from the few that read it before everything goes back to business as usual tomorrow. The only thing different is that I'll be one step closer to giving up home
I can't help but wonder what makes me so unappealing. I wish I knew. I have my theories, but all of them lead to the conclusion that I don't stand a chance here. That there isn't room, or a niche, or a following for me. That I'm unable to be received for who I am, but for what I offer. And in the case of those lonely men, I'm only good for satisfying their kinks.
Not that I'm particularly desperate for attention. I never intended to have mass appeal here. It's just the awful feeling of looking around and knowing that you don't belong anywhere that despairs me. A big part of the reason I'm here is because I don't fit in anywhere in the 'real world'. To not even find welcome in your own safe-haven is jarring.
I feel like even this post won't help me to find relevance. It'll likely invite pity from the few that read it before everything goes back to business as usual tomorrow. The only thing different is that I'll be one step closer to giving up home
