I Babble
Life rolls ever onward. There's never any telling where it's paths might lead you. The best you can do is try to do the right things for the right reasons. The problem with that is, are we ever really sure what the right thing is ? Do we even know which reasons are the right ones for the doing of the right things ?
I've been mired in thoughts lately. I suppose that's nothing new for me. I always seem to be thinking about different things. When I was younger and more rash I would often act swiftly whenever a "Right" reason seemed to present itself. My corrective actions always appearing to me to be the "Right" thing to do at the time.
Though foresight, at best, is nearly blind. While hindsight is almost always 20/20. At least for those of us who try not to lie to themselves.
I'm quiet these days. Mostly because I simply have nothing to say. Nothing good. Nothing bad. Just nothing at all really worth saying. I'm pretty much typing this just to see if there's something I'd like to say that could be worth saying?
But, there's really not.
Anyway, I'll continue for a bit just to be sure....
Where was I ?
Ah, yes.... Right and Wrong and the wisdom of my youth....
Well as I said, hindsight is close to perfect. It's so much easier to see your mistakes after you made them. Far easier than seeing them just before you make them. I suppose in some way that's how we all learn and grow. I've learned a lot over the years. I've even grown a little bit I think.
I sit and think a lot of the time these days. Quietly contemplating the many lessons I've learned. Studying my past, in the hopes I might glean some wisdoms for use in the future. Though admittedly, I'm at a point in life where my future is considerably shorter than my past. Nothing makes that any clearer than when I stare into the eyes of my grandson, Xavier.
I've thought for a long time that our mortality should shape our morality. Channelling our decisions and actions with our eyes cast towards the future. But, it doesn't for the most part.
I see in my past many people who did whatever they pleased, for whatever reason they wanted. Things appear to have worked out just fine for them. It all seems so random sometimes. Good people suffering and struggling.... Bad folks reaping huge material rewards..... I suppose there are just as many good people being rewarded, and bad people enjoying the suffering they probably deserve...., but I think I see more of the former.
Or maybe my thoughts on right, wrong, good, and bad, are all just really screwed up to begin with..?
Whenever I hear people talk of Karma, or the Power of Positive Thinking, I'm forced to wonder which Wishing Well those people are dipping their buckets in...? Is there enough magical water in there for all of us..? Somehow, I doubt it.
I age, growing quieter, and less outspoken. Considering all that's come before, I begin to question all my own theories on life. The theories that told me to stand up for others who can't stand for themselves. To do what I believe is right for unselfish and clear reasons. To always try to tell the simple truth in a simple way. To be good.....
I stare into the eyes of Xavier and wonder what lessons he shall learn on his journey ? Which lessons should I teach ? Should I even be teaching him ? What pieces of my own moral compass should I impart ? Do I teach him to be kind, caring, and giving ? Or do I teach him that he and his should be first and foremost, no matter what ? To concentrate his efforts towards his own personal happiness and success ? Is it possible that there is some middle ground somewhere between ? Maybe I should teach him nothing and leave that all to the others in his life ?
A lot of us get what we don't deserve in so many ways. Life's fickle unfairness and random fluctuations of fate, see to that. There are of course things we can do on our own to give us a fighting chance against the random. Choices to make, and actions to take. Yet, those decisions and choices, especially the early ones, tend to be underinformed guesses at best. I'm not really sure my thoughts on the world would be of any use, at any rate.
Life rolls ever onward and it drags my constantly contemplative mind along with it. Pulling my weary heart, and battered soul down it's path towards the unknowns of my future. With only one thing left certain.
My eventual demise and release from this struggle we call life.
It's far too late for me to change into a man I am not. So, I will continue to try and do right things for right reasons. With any luck, something I never seemed to have a lot of, I'll be better at the guessing of which is which, and which actions to take. Those are some pretty big what ifs however. But, until such a day as I earn my release, I shall continue, at the very least, to try......
Like I said..., just nothing really worth saying...
Back to the silent screams within my mind. Where a million tiny variations of my own voice resound and argue.......
The rest of you
Be well
Live happy
Die trying,
Rob
I've been mired in thoughts lately. I suppose that's nothing new for me. I always seem to be thinking about different things. When I was younger and more rash I would often act swiftly whenever a "Right" reason seemed to present itself. My corrective actions always appearing to me to be the "Right" thing to do at the time.
Though foresight, at best, is nearly blind. While hindsight is almost always 20/20. At least for those of us who try not to lie to themselves.
I'm quiet these days. Mostly because I simply have nothing to say. Nothing good. Nothing bad. Just nothing at all really worth saying. I'm pretty much typing this just to see if there's something I'd like to say that could be worth saying?
But, there's really not.
Anyway, I'll continue for a bit just to be sure....
Where was I ?
Ah, yes.... Right and Wrong and the wisdom of my youth....
Well as I said, hindsight is close to perfect. It's so much easier to see your mistakes after you made them. Far easier than seeing them just before you make them. I suppose in some way that's how we all learn and grow. I've learned a lot over the years. I've even grown a little bit I think.
I sit and think a lot of the time these days. Quietly contemplating the many lessons I've learned. Studying my past, in the hopes I might glean some wisdoms for use in the future. Though admittedly, I'm at a point in life where my future is considerably shorter than my past. Nothing makes that any clearer than when I stare into the eyes of my grandson, Xavier.
I've thought for a long time that our mortality should shape our morality. Channelling our decisions and actions with our eyes cast towards the future. But, it doesn't for the most part.
I see in my past many people who did whatever they pleased, for whatever reason they wanted. Things appear to have worked out just fine for them. It all seems so random sometimes. Good people suffering and struggling.... Bad folks reaping huge material rewards..... I suppose there are just as many good people being rewarded, and bad people enjoying the suffering they probably deserve...., but I think I see more of the former.
Or maybe my thoughts on right, wrong, good, and bad, are all just really screwed up to begin with..?
Whenever I hear people talk of Karma, or the Power of Positive Thinking, I'm forced to wonder which Wishing Well those people are dipping their buckets in...? Is there enough magical water in there for all of us..? Somehow, I doubt it.
I age, growing quieter, and less outspoken. Considering all that's come before, I begin to question all my own theories on life. The theories that told me to stand up for others who can't stand for themselves. To do what I believe is right for unselfish and clear reasons. To always try to tell the simple truth in a simple way. To be good.....
I stare into the eyes of Xavier and wonder what lessons he shall learn on his journey ? Which lessons should I teach ? Should I even be teaching him ? What pieces of my own moral compass should I impart ? Do I teach him to be kind, caring, and giving ? Or do I teach him that he and his should be first and foremost, no matter what ? To concentrate his efforts towards his own personal happiness and success ? Is it possible that there is some middle ground somewhere between ? Maybe I should teach him nothing and leave that all to the others in his life ?
A lot of us get what we don't deserve in so many ways. Life's fickle unfairness and random fluctuations of fate, see to that. There are of course things we can do on our own to give us a fighting chance against the random. Choices to make, and actions to take. Yet, those decisions and choices, especially the early ones, tend to be underinformed guesses at best. I'm not really sure my thoughts on the world would be of any use, at any rate.
Life rolls ever onward and it drags my constantly contemplative mind along with it. Pulling my weary heart, and battered soul down it's path towards the unknowns of my future. With only one thing left certain.
My eventual demise and release from this struggle we call life.
It's far too late for me to change into a man I am not. So, I will continue to try and do right things for right reasons. With any luck, something I never seemed to have a lot of, I'll be better at the guessing of which is which, and which actions to take. Those are some pretty big what ifs however. But, until such a day as I earn my release, I shall continue, at the very least, to try......
Like I said..., just nothing really worth saying...
Back to the silent screams within my mind. Where a million tiny variations of my own voice resound and argue.......
The rest of you
Be well
Live happy
Die trying,
Rob
