I Was Sexualy Abused

I always tell my self that I am not a victim .I can't be a victim.I don't want to be a victim.But you come and destroy everything.The more I try to be happy and heal the more cruelly you violate my soul.Please let me be.I am tired.I am fucking tired.I am aching I am screaming I am hurting only if you knew. I don't want to remember anything I want to forget your touch .Please slip away from my mind.Run away memories it's killing me.Either I will give my self completely and get it over with once and for all or go numb and kill all emotions I have left cuz I cnt speak against you cuz that will destroy lives.Even breathing hurts now mother fucke.r it hurts to breath cuz its bringing back the humiliation and misery you caused me today.I wish you kill me after you are done with taking out your lust on me.Thank you world for shattering my soul.I will try try try tryst to live.

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idolno1

Sorry you had to endure and still living with this. I too was abused (more ways than one)as a young boy by another boy in my neighborhood. First, me thinking he himself was probably abused allows me to at least partially release him of his transgressions towards me and gives me the freedom from continually living that nightmare. It makes me feel sorry for him. Every situation is different, but I hope you too will find freedom as I did.

Moonii · 31-35, F

I feel sorry for my abusers as well just for their lust they lose their dignity worth value as a human it's sickening but I pity them,they are so lost in their ugly desires.I hope so to I habe encounters when I was young I got over them but world doesn't want me to heal I guess.