I Was Sexualy Abused

I always tell my self that I am not a victim .I can't be a victim.I don't want to be a victim.But you come and destroy everything.The more I try to be happy and heal the more cruelly you violate my soul.Please let me be.I am tired.I am fucking tired.I am aching I am screaming I am hurting only if you knew. I don't want to remember anything I want to forget your touch .Please slip away from my mind.Run away memories it's killing me.Either I will give my self completely and get it over with once and for all or go numb and kill all emotions I have left cuz I cnt speak against you cuz that will destroy lives.Even breathing hurts now mother fucke.r it hurts to breath cuz its bringing back the humiliation and misery you caused me today.I wish you kill me after you are done with taking out your lust on me.Thank you world for shattering my soul.I will try try try tryst to live.

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QuestionMarks

I'm sorry and I understand. The world rages with and glorifies lust and that IS the problem. Most people do know the difference between lust and love and they agree to violate each other and don't see it as violation especially if they are two adults like in adultery. But I understand sexual a use as a child. It happened to me and destroyed my life. The hardest part though was people who looked at you like there was something wrong with you because they didn't know your secret- so my whole life I got treated by people as if something was wrong with me. I think I hate those unthinking judgmental uncaring people more than I hate my abuser.

Moonii · 31-35, F

True I agree with you when I posted this I was mort hurt and broken cuz of the people who were insensitive and the way they acted and treated me.It was humiliating for me after what the abuser did the non abusing but judgmental pricks make my condition worst.I am sorry that you had to go through the same thing.