I Am Lifeless In So Many Ways
Lost/Missing
Lost smile, was last seen somewhere in my happy memories.
responds to her laugh, the twinkle in her eyes, the way she brightened up a room when she walked in.
Meek, Shy, and skittish around new people.
If found please contact, I do not wish to have it back however, I would just like to know if found a better home, somewhere and with whom it can be given the proper love and attention.
And so I would like to follow up with this.
Free to good home, my smile.
shows very little wear, not used since she left.
I mainly took it in as a stray, I remember the day, it wants really planned. (not by me anyway) one of our random talks somehow led to her questioning me about my past. Asking what I did for fun, what kind of life I wanted, what REALLY made me happy. I said I had nothing. She asked "why?" I said I guess I didn't have a good answer, it was just how I existed. She didn't like that answer, and that day turned into one of our road trip days. I recall we were driving down a back road in her truck with the not so great heater and non-existent radio. (which was nice because we were able to just talk.) I remember it was snowing, I watched the snowdrifts dance across the road, and you were talking about your life, your past, your struggles, I could hear in her voice these memories still had a lot of sharp edges left on them. I watched her eyes as she fought back voices of negativity and doubt in her mind. I swallowed hard as I knew that look in her eyes all too well. Then, not even two miles more down the road (by some ethereal way I have yet to understand or find/feel again) I somehow decided to ask a random question, and I saw in her expression she was about to answer without thinking as if an automatic response. I cut her off “seriously” I said. She took a deep breath, and as she exhaled it's as if she let all the bullshit go, her words spoken were truth, creeping past her filter and walls that are up for the world. But to me, in that moment, she spoke right from her soul. And there it was. My smile, (or at least the one I found) It didn't feel too comfortable at the time, but after a while, after so many talks, be they on back roads, late night/early morning ones, those that we were sure would get us committed if ever we were overheard, I grew attached to it, wearing it more often, feeling it was really my own. Anyway, after she left so did it.
So if you find it, please take it in, it may not be the biggest or the best, but it's been through hell and it deserves someone who can care for it, who will use it, who can pick it up, dust/clean it off, brush away the broken heart pieces from it.
I realize there may be many smiles wandering the ever darkening world, yet you will know this one when you find it. It will smirk at every twinkling in the night sky, ever looking and searching for those moments when people speak from the soul. Loving the light in the darkness.
Please take care of it in all the way I can't, without that integral piece (her) it just doesn't work the same for me. I hope you have better luck.
Lost smile, was last seen somewhere in my happy memories.
responds to her laugh, the twinkle in her eyes, the way she brightened up a room when she walked in.
Meek, Shy, and skittish around new people.
If found please contact, I do not wish to have it back however, I would just like to know if found a better home, somewhere and with whom it can be given the proper love and attention.
And so I would like to follow up with this.
Free to good home, my smile.
shows very little wear, not used since she left.
I mainly took it in as a stray, I remember the day, it wants really planned. (not by me anyway) one of our random talks somehow led to her questioning me about my past. Asking what I did for fun, what kind of life I wanted, what REALLY made me happy. I said I had nothing. She asked "why?" I said I guess I didn't have a good answer, it was just how I existed. She didn't like that answer, and that day turned into one of our road trip days. I recall we were driving down a back road in her truck with the not so great heater and non-existent radio. (which was nice because we were able to just talk.) I remember it was snowing, I watched the snowdrifts dance across the road, and you were talking about your life, your past, your struggles, I could hear in her voice these memories still had a lot of sharp edges left on them. I watched her eyes as she fought back voices of negativity and doubt in her mind. I swallowed hard as I knew that look in her eyes all too well. Then, not even two miles more down the road (by some ethereal way I have yet to understand or find/feel again) I somehow decided to ask a random question, and I saw in her expression she was about to answer without thinking as if an automatic response. I cut her off “seriously” I said. She took a deep breath, and as she exhaled it's as if she let all the bullshit go, her words spoken were truth, creeping past her filter and walls that are up for the world. But to me, in that moment, she spoke right from her soul. And there it was. My smile, (or at least the one I found) It didn't feel too comfortable at the time, but after a while, after so many talks, be they on back roads, late night/early morning ones, those that we were sure would get us committed if ever we were overheard, I grew attached to it, wearing it more often, feeling it was really my own. Anyway, after she left so did it.
So if you find it, please take it in, it may not be the biggest or the best, but it's been through hell and it deserves someone who can care for it, who will use it, who can pick it up, dust/clean it off, brush away the broken heart pieces from it.
I realize there may be many smiles wandering the ever darkening world, yet you will know this one when you find it. It will smirk at every twinkling in the night sky, ever looking and searching for those moments when people speak from the soul. Loving the light in the darkness.
Please take care of it in all the way I can't, without that integral piece (her) it just doesn't work the same for me. I hope you have better luck.
31-35, M
