Ordering an odd food combo when out with family as an alternative to wine, what to say? [I Am An Alcoholic]

My brother and I are taking out my mom next week. But my genius brother planned it the same day she has a doctors appointment in the morning and she is a hypochondriac. So either good or bad news she will be discussing it a lot despite being healthier then a lot of people 20 years younger then her. She is the kind of person who will antagonize the whole family over a wart and does stuff like that 3 to 4 times a year. So I'm gonna be tempted to order a glass of wine but instead will order a double turkey burger medium rare and large glass of milk. What should I say when ordering to hide the fact that I'm about to consume enough tryptophan to put a nursery to bed?