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Ordering an odd food combo when out with family as an alternative to wine, what to say?

My brother and I are taking out my mom next week. But my genius brother planned it the same day she has a doctors appointment in the morning and she is a hypochondriac. So either good or bad news she will be discussing it a lot despite being healthier then a lot of people 20 years younger then her. She is the kind of person who will antagonize the whole family over a wart and does stuff like that 3 to 4 times a year. So I'm gonna be tempted to order a glass of wine but instead will order a double turkey burger medium rare and large glass of milk. What should I say when ordering to hide the fact that I'm about to consume enough tryptophan to put a nursery to bed?
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BTW I have some obligatory reasons to go.
Maybe should I order Onion Rings too?
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
I'm going walk this tryptophan off. It actually does! 🙃
[@412417,DeWayfarer] I just decided to order a big plate of Onion Rings and Chamomile Tea. Cheaper then a double burger too.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
[@1202537,SchizophrenicMayonnaise] hope your good cholesterol is high! 🙃

You might be better off with tryptophan! 😁

 
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