I've Been Hurt So I Can't Hurt Others

I am very depressed this morning. Close to suicide. I'm very tired, but I LOVE my Job. I'm going in late this morning. I was supposed to be there for ten in the morning, but I'm going in for eleven thirty. I'm very depressed. At nights I cry because the law told me not to write on social media anymore. The law told me that they wanted me to stop writing on social media because I wrote that I wanted to go into a school with a fake toy gun that looks real so that they could call the cops to shoot me down because my foster mother who is a Hindu from India had her Russian boyfriend's family impregnate me with a sperm donor's baby while I was having seizures and now I have a whole lot of movement in my stomach with a negative pregnancy test (urinary) and I am afraid that once I give birth to my babies that my foster mother's Russian boyfriend's family will come in and molest and rape my babies while I'm having seizures, that's why I'm trying to get the cops to shoot me down with the babies inside of me so that the Russians don't molest and rape my babies because I have nowhere to stay and no one who wants me.