I Feel Like I'm Losing My Mind
I've had an extremely stressful year and I have been so busy and I have not been taking care of myself and I know that is a contributing factor but there is something weird going on with me right now and I am having trouble getting a grip on it. I'm experiencing these weird time echos.
My son was sick and in the hospital a few weeks back and at certain points I almost felt like I was outside my body watching myself. I walked past the trauma room in the ER and I saw myself standing there when my husband was in that room critically ill watching myself standing in that room the time my ex husband was in there dying. Going to the bath room in the waiting room was the same thing, and same with going to the chapel... watching myself in the time before watching myself in the time before.
Last week I watched a show with my husband that I had watched years before with my ex-husband at the same time of year and memories kept rushing back and gave me nightmares and I haven't slept much all week. These memories aren't like memories... they have this weird stop-motion feel to them. I feel like I'm moving between two or three different times at once.
I get panicky because I feel like I'm trapped in this cycle living the same thing over and over and I don't know how to break out of it. But really it's just all in my head. I just need to find a way to let go of the fear that is holding me back so I can move on.
My son was sick and in the hospital a few weeks back and at certain points I almost felt like I was outside my body watching myself. I walked past the trauma room in the ER and I saw myself standing there when my husband was in that room critically ill watching myself standing in that room the time my ex husband was in there dying. Going to the bath room in the waiting room was the same thing, and same with going to the chapel... watching myself in the time before watching myself in the time before.
Last week I watched a show with my husband that I had watched years before with my ex-husband at the same time of year and memories kept rushing back and gave me nightmares and I haven't slept much all week. These memories aren't like memories... they have this weird stop-motion feel to them. I feel like I'm moving between two or three different times at once.
I get panicky because I feel like I'm trapped in this cycle living the same thing over and over and I don't know how to break out of it. But really it's just all in my head. I just need to find a way to let go of the fear that is holding me back so I can move on.
56-60, F
