I Have a Light Skin Tone
Just a disclaimer, this story is about an issue [i][b]unique[/b][/i] to the black community. If you feel some type of way about that, don't read it.
Being light skinned is hard. Too white to be black, too black to be white. Stuck in the middle.
You're light enough for prejudice white people (not saying all white people are prejudice, I'm talking specifically about ones that are) to say dumb shit in front of your face thinking you aren't black. So that always makes for very [i]interesting[/i] conversations. But you're not light enough to catch any breaks from the police, or to go into a store without the proprietor staring you down the whole time and asking to search you before you leave.
Strength is highly valued in the black community among young black men. Softness is punished with ridicule. I've been tried by my own people many times on account of my light skin, and I've had to fight to show that just because my skin tone is soft, doesn't mean my spirit is.
Romance is hard too. [i]Proud[/i] black women don't typically go for guys that are my color. Not even the ones that [i]are[/i] my color. They just aren't my audience, they want darker men. I attract mostly black girls that have white guy fetishes, or ones that are insecure about their complexions (the two are often one in the same). I hate it when black girls compliment my skin tone within a few minutes of me starting to talk to them. It makes me feel like they like me for the wrong fucking reason. I just want an intelligent young black woman who is proud to be black and acknowledges my blackness :/
It doesn't help that I articulate very well and have an A1 vocabulary. Know how many times I've heard "you talk like a white boy" or "you talk white". It use to piss me off, but now it just makes me tired to hear it.
I use to feel like I had to make up for my skin tone. I had to do the most to show that I was indeed black. And I got into quite a bit of trouble for it. But that's before I learned that blackness doesn't fit just one definition, I am black, and I am also [i]me[/i]. The unique aspects of my personality are not to be forfeited just because many of my brethren haven't observed them before.
It's a struggle definitely, but I'm leaning to be comfortable with who I am.
Being light skinned is hard. Too white to be black, too black to be white. Stuck in the middle.
You're light enough for prejudice white people (not saying all white people are prejudice, I'm talking specifically about ones that are) to say dumb shit in front of your face thinking you aren't black. So that always makes for very [i]interesting[/i] conversations. But you're not light enough to catch any breaks from the police, or to go into a store without the proprietor staring you down the whole time and asking to search you before you leave.
Strength is highly valued in the black community among young black men. Softness is punished with ridicule. I've been tried by my own people many times on account of my light skin, and I've had to fight to show that just because my skin tone is soft, doesn't mean my spirit is.
Romance is hard too. [i]Proud[/i] black women don't typically go for guys that are my color. Not even the ones that [i]are[/i] my color. They just aren't my audience, they want darker men. I attract mostly black girls that have white guy fetishes, or ones that are insecure about their complexions (the two are often one in the same). I hate it when black girls compliment my skin tone within a few minutes of me starting to talk to them. It makes me feel like they like me for the wrong fucking reason. I just want an intelligent young black woman who is proud to be black and acknowledges my blackness :/
It doesn't help that I articulate very well and have an A1 vocabulary. Know how many times I've heard "you talk like a white boy" or "you talk white". It use to piss me off, but now it just makes me tired to hear it.
I use to feel like I had to make up for my skin tone. I had to do the most to show that I was indeed black. And I got into quite a bit of trouble for it. But that's before I learned that blackness doesn't fit just one definition, I am black, and I am also [i]me[/i]. The unique aspects of my personality are not to be forfeited just because many of my brethren haven't observed them before.
It's a struggle definitely, but I'm leaning to be comfortable with who I am.
