This Sucks

I want to get numb, I hate this pain I'm so tired of feeling stuck. It feels that this feeling is inside of me all the damn time I seriously can make myself depressed and cause myself a mental breakdown within seconds and I don't like this. I never asked for my life to be such a mess, even having hope sounds like a lot of un-needed effort tbh. I just don't understand anything anymore.. I might take a little break from SW to calm down.