I'm sure you lean on your boyfriend a lot for this and he can give you a clear perspective of the situation. It's nice about dominant husbands or boyfriends... they will watch us try to figure things out, but eventually they put their foot down.... for OUR own good. I know this is so old fashioned, but in my experience leaning on my husband's judgement has given me such peace. When I tried to have a relationship w/ my real father and got rejected time after time... he put his foot down and told me to stop. I needed that.

I think you have been and are a beautiful daughter to your Mother, but ultimately SHE has to make her own choices for life improvement. There are affordable housing she can get into (I know, I run such a place for senior citizens) There are paths she can take. You be there, but when it is time to stop, you have to stop. If for no other reason but to be able to have space and time between your Mom's erratic life choices.

So, what does your boyfriend say? Is it the same man you were with before, I'm assuming it is.

Take or leave my words...

You can say no.
I know it's incredibly hard to do that, you want to preserve the relationship with your mother, but nothing will change unless you do something different.


Maybe you can suggest that youre happy to help but you dont think her living with you will work out well. Try finding her some lower cost place to rent/board near by. So you can maintain your personal space but still have the connection.

People face struggles but she is your parent & needs to be one!
Not very fair of her to lean on you every time.

That sounds a nightmare

She needs an boyfriend