I Cant Explain In Words How I Feel Sometimes

I hate when I don't know how I feel. My life its like 'Do what I say, not what I do'. I'm tired of telling people to be strong, to believe in their selves, to trust. And I'm nothing like that. I don't believe in myself, I'm trying to be strong all the time, I don't trust in myself, I feel like I'm bothering or annoying all the time, I feel like ppl didn't answer back 'fast' because they're too busy for me. And the worst part I don't believe when ppl says I'm 'amazing', I'm awkward, weird, I say stupid things...