I Love Pain Mixed With Pleasure

I love pain with pleasure & I’m dominant, according to some that’s an odd combination? I have a gf that’s even more dom than me & she can become a bit of a sadist when she gets really aroused. Sometimes when I need some extra relief I provoke her to the point where she finally snaps & turns on me.

She’s a martial arts expert, quite tall, incredibly fit & very strong; I don’t have a hope in hell of stopping her when she gets going. Every now & then she allows me to get a hand free, & when I do I lash out at her until I do something to her that forces her to slap & punish me quite violently. Although I can suffer for the following few days, it’s worth every bit of it, not to mention the loving tenderness that follows afterwards; it’s simply beautiful as well.

The reason I’m posting this now is because it's been like a burden that I’ve shamefully carried around for years. But recently I’ve starting to talk to others about this subject & much to my surprise I’ve discovered I’m not alone, in fact there’s more people that share this fetish/desire than I realised, to various levels of course👀☺

On the other hand when I'm with a girl that would rather have tender loving sex I'm more than happy to oblige. After all my greatest high is seeing that look of exhausted satisfaction on her face, no matter how I achieve it.

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Paliglass · 41-45, F

A bit of pain makes pleasure more pleasurable. As long as it's consensual and no one feels abused by it then it's great!

Psychologically violence followed by tenderness creates trauma bonding hence stronger bonds in BDSM relationships and of course in situations of domestic abuse.

It sounds like your situation is more BDSM than domestic abuse though so no shame. No shame in domestic abuse either, they need help. But seeing as you like it like this then there's no burden to carry at all and no abuse although I can understand why you don't want everyone to know necessarily.

Also most women are wired to bond with captors. Finding a safe way to achieve this high is better than being in an abusive situation. That's my basic assessment of myself. I like a little bit of pain mixed with my pleasure too.

Les02 · 26-30, F

@Paliglass How interesting & another great response.. thank you. My partners & I have an enormous amount of respect for each other & very clear understanding of each other's needs. A good example of this is how my dom partner responds exactly how I'de expect/like her too simply by the level of violence I display to her, she never crosses the line.

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@Paliglass I agree. Women are wired to bond with their captors, which explains a lot.

Paliglass · 41-45, F

@Mugin16 yea haha