I Like a Good Joke
My uncle Bob came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
âWho the hell are you?â Demanded uncle Bob, âand what are you doing in my bedroom?â.
The mysterious Man answered âThis isnât your bedroom and Iâm St. Peterâ.
Uncle Bob was stunned âYou mean Iâm dead!!! That canât be, I have so much to live for, I havenât said goodbye to my familyâŠ. youâve got to send me back straight awayâ.
St Peter replied âYes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.â Uncle Bob was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
âThis ainât so badâ he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said âSo youâre the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?â
âItâs not so badâ replies uncle Bob, âbut I have this strange feeling inside like Iâm about to explodeâ.
âYouâre ovulatingâ explained the rooster, âdonât tell me youâve never laid an egg beforeâ.
âNeverâ replies uncle Bob.
âWell just relax and let it happenâ.
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever happened to him⊠ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous SMACK on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting âBob, wake up you drunken bastard, youâre shitting the bed!â
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
âWho the hell are you?â Demanded uncle Bob, âand what are you doing in my bedroom?â.
The mysterious Man answered âThis isnât your bedroom and Iâm St. Peterâ.
Uncle Bob was stunned âYou mean Iâm dead!!! That canât be, I have so much to live for, I havenât said goodbye to my familyâŠ. youâve got to send me back straight awayâ.
St Peter replied âYes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.â Uncle Bob was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
âThis ainât so badâ he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said âSo youâre the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?â
âItâs not so badâ replies uncle Bob, âbut I have this strange feeling inside like Iâm about to explodeâ.
âYouâre ovulatingâ explained the rooster, âdonât tell me youâve never laid an egg beforeâ.
âNeverâ replies uncle Bob.
âWell just relax and let it happenâ.
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever happened to him⊠ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous SMACK on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting âBob, wake up you drunken bastard, youâre shitting the bed!â
61-69, M
