I Am Unsure About My Sexuality

So I'm a bisexual woman. Maybe. It's what I've called myself for the past two years. But lately, I've started seeing a guy. He's incredibly nice and sweet and just treats me so well. Compliments, positive feedback, such a great person. But I'm starting to feel less attracted to him. My whole life I think I've found girls more attractive...most men I've found attractive tend to be more feminine in appearance. i mean, it's not like I find guys repellant. But I'm confused and I don't want to be. I don't want to give bisexuality a bad name, since so many people call bisexuals confused. I feel guilty for not being certain. And I'm afraid of hurting this wonderful guy...maybe I should just give him some more time? Maybe I'm just not used to dating in general, and regardless of gender I'd be just as iffy? God I wish I knew. I wish it were as black and white as a lot of people seem to think it is...

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

MistyCee

Nothing is ever as black and white as it seems.

I can't tell what's in your heart (or other places) but don't beat yourself up for not having it all figured out yet.

ileana · 26-30, F

@MistyCee I haven't really had a chance to figure anything out. I only came out as queer two years ago, after surpressing feelings for my entire life. I never felt comfortable calling myself straight, and now I'm starting to feel uncomfortable calling myself bisexual.

MistyCee

@ileana just my opinion, but labels suck sometimes. Maybe it's this guy, but other than that, girls. Or vice versa. Whatever it turns out to be, you need to be happy with yourself.

ileana · 26-30, F

@MistyCee that's the thing. I remember saying to myself when I was like 14 and started having feelings for other girls that I would marry a man regardless of my feelings and suffer through being unhappy, because I could not axcoet myself as being anything but straight. Of course I was young and dumb, but I guess it's still justified because my dad is far from tolerant. One of the scariest things I realized at that age was that I liked girls more than guys. And now I'm feeling scared all over again just from the uncertainty. I just wish my brain would let me accept that not everything has to be labeled and figured out immediately, and let me sleep.

MistyCee

Give it time, and give yourself a break.

I never allowed myself to have the kind of crisis your going through at your age, and I regret it.

Figure out what makes you happy, and why, and what's most important to you.

Some people, for example, may find their religious beliefs or their family's to be more important than what's in their hearts.

I actually think that's a valid choice, but it's not one that should be made lightly.

I wish I knew what else to say, but I don't, really.