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I Have a Story to Tell

When I was having one of my episodes of psychosis one time I ended up walking about 10 miles out of town, with a backpack full of random stuff believing in all kinds of strange things such as a spirit accompanying me and protecting me in the form of wind. I get to this small village and end up walking onto someone's property, entering their conservatory (as it was freezing cold and I needed heat badly) thinking it was all a part of some elaborate TV show or some such thing. I end up rifling through their belongings during the night until I find a box of apples and then decided to eat half of one. When the people living there finally realise that I'm there, a man and a woman, the guy goes about his business taking it all in his stride as if I've been welcomed over while the woman is unsettled by the whole thing (rightly so) and I end up trying to offer her an expensive crystal egg that I happen to have on me.

Eventually the police are called in and I'm taken back to my town to the police station there where I'm kept overnight until a solicitor appointed to me arrives and two mental health professionals that have worked with me in the past. I end up being interrogated by a police officer who is apparently trying to make his way up the ranks by arresting and, I guess, convicting as many people as possible, no matter what. I'm accused of stealing an apple and that is what they're trying to charge me on and during the interrogation I'm accused of faking mental illness, despite having a long history with mental health services with accounts of how "out of it" I've really been. I'm just laughing to myself at the whole idea that after all that had happened it was the apple that was the issue.

I end up getting released with no charges and the following day I lose my mind even worse which results in my arm getting dislocated by police officers, but that is another story...
SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M
@Listening80 - To begin with, I don't see you as being crazy or perhaps you're just my kind of crazy :P

There is definitely a fine line between being insane and considered a genius, but I don't give myself enough credit, probably because I had a poor education and ended up having to teach myself a number of things. Really the world is collectively "mentally ill" and it's more a case of what kind of madness you happen to take on. I attended a mental health conference here once and there was a presentation by a doctor who had spent time doing meta-research at a university into the case of what it actually is that makes people lose their minds. Nurture was definitely a factor over nature and the environment we're in has a lot to do with it, citing city life especially being a big culprit. We're far enough removed from our natural way of life for it to drive us insane!

There's definitely a lot of stigma around mental health and I don't think seeing it as an illness helps that any. I prefer to see it as part of the human condition; a natural reaction to the trauma we've been through in the world we live in. You could certainly say it's a gift in some ways too, because without the experiences I've had I'd be far less enlightened and I would have a far less richer life.

Also in parts of the world where people are more tribal and closer to the ancestry of the Earth, people going through what we consider an illness are considered to be gifted, often being renowned as spiritual leaders or Shaman and who are we to say who is closer to the truth.
SW-User
Such insight could only come from one touched by the gift that society calls 'madness'.

Best wishes 😊
SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M
@NearMiss - I only have episodes of psychosis roughly once every year/year and a half and on some occasions I'm able to reach out to my local mental health team before I completely lose it. There's also a great lack of services here, so assisted-living wouldn't really be an option and given that I can take care of myself living alone it wouldn't be warranted so much anyway.
SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M
@Luckybird - it's a big issue here too. In my area there are some understanding police officers and they're also trying to educate the local police force on those with mental health problems, but a part of the issue is that some people in the team simply don't like those of us who suffer with such things.
SW-User
I was just in a light hearted way eluding to the fact that most geniuses were actually considered 'mad' by society.

What is this 'madness'. What indeed is 'mental health' and what is mentally 'unhealthy'. I'm not saying that it is not a worry that you believed you needed to pack lots of things in a bag to protect you and went to someone's house. Of course it is.

But that was that moment.

I think society struggles with mental health and well-being. It is still considered weak. What if, feeling I such an intense way, sensing the world in a way that is over whelming, is actually a gift? A gift that may be hard to master. A gift that needs patient understanding and support.

I am glad you feel more in control of your gift.

Sorry if I sound crazy. Many would think I am 😝
SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M
@Listening80 - I'd like to be able to say I have something in common with Einstein heh but I could only wish that my intellect was as high as his, if only to contribute something powerful to the world to make it a much better place.
SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M
@NearMiss - I have someone from my local mental health team that checks up on me, currently. I live in the UK, but I receive something similar. The schizophrenia diagnosis is actually being phased out over here as it's no longer appropriate to label people with it. While I'm diagnosed as bi-polar I could easily fit in to a different diagnosis given what I've experienced and how unscientific the diagnostic manual is. Yes, I'm totally sure as when I get high and delusional it's most notable and I remember each account quite accurately. When you have a period of wellness it's very easy for me to see just how unwell I can get.
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I worry about the mentally ill interactions with police. They regularly brutalize them here! Its sick.
SW-User
Einstein stole an apple once didn't he?
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