I Have a Story to Tell

Born in the year of '97, my I was the 2nd born out of the survivors, my parents were so happy, I was always happy and smiling as a baby, things were so simple, the only time in my life without worry. Soon though, the good years were behind me, I had a bad experience and it led me to health problems, I couldn't eat, I was underweight, I didn't grow for years, it took until I was almost a teenager to finally figure out the problem and fix it, my dad would yell and scream at me for it, something I had no control over, when he found out what was wrong it broke his heart, I forgave him years ago. I was always the shy kid few knew of, that and social anxiety, I had counseling in the 2nd grade, and for a while it helped, I would however fall back into my social anxiety, in 7th grade one day I finally got the courage to speak up, it was a wonderful but shortlived feeling. I've always had anger problems, part of it fault of my own, part of it seeing the way my dad acted at times, when I was a teen the cops were called on me twice and a third time as couple years later, I didn't harm anyone but just was out of control. Parts of my childhood were wonderful, but 80-90% of my life I've been unhappy. We weren't the worst off or the poorest, but definitely below average income and struggled at times. In more recent years I once did nothing but overeat and feel sorry for myself, then about a month ago something inspired me to change, I don't know what but I've made a lot of progress from where I was at. My dad has had copd most of my life, I've had to see him suffer badly over a mistake. I think I've been depressed much longer than I thought, I see looking back that I was slipping. Present day, I do occasionally have a good day where I'm happy and even smile again, but many days, I'm sad, depressed, anxious, and I do things to help but that only goes so far. I've had counseling and medicine for many years, it's better than nothing by far, but still. I know my life hasn't been the hardest, but it certainly wasn't the easiest, most of the time being almost fully alone, rarely ever getting to do much of anything, having depression, anxiety, social anxiety, ADD, flat feet, possible heart and/or lung problems, and feeling so hopeless a lot. It's thanks to the very few people I consider friends or close to me that I'm still going, that and my drive to better myself. My life's goal is to gain wisdom, understanding, be there for others, just be an overall good person.