I Dont Know Where To Put This

It's odd for me, I put on a face for those around me, try to seem light and carefree, but inside it's another story. One that is full of panic and despair. I hide so much because I was taught to soldier on, that I'm not suppose to feel these things, that it's a weakness. Do I believe it? Not really, but when deep in the pit of icy darkness, with cold claws dragging me back down as I try to crawl out, it's hard to think about the reality of it all. So, I try not to subject others to it, I withdraw, dive into my games and disappear for a time.

I know it's not healthy, but it works. This isn't a cry for help or asking for pats on the back of recognition. I'm no one special, I'm just me and there are parts of me I don't like and parts I sometimes do. This is more of a vent, just a way to purge the toxic steam that builds up within.

So for any that took the time to read this, I am sorry if I wasted your time. This isn't anything enlightening or profound, it's nothing humorous, well to some it might be or truly deep. It's just the rantings of a lonely, pain filled brain that hasn't slept in quite awhile.

But I will leave it with this one song.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW93CV6m-JU]


I do thank you for the time you took to read.