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I Want to Tell You a Story

For our 10 year anniversary my missus thought it would be a good and adventurous idea to go caving, as a romantic treat.. 😐 so we booked to go to Deep Caving.

Off we went into the caves with the group and the tour guide and we descended down to 200ft under the ground.. we walked and explored and caved and looked at some pretty cool iron ore areas and I really enjoyed that part....

Towards the end of the tour the guide says, “okay so for the adventurous explorers we have a few challenges for you..” my girlfriends ears pricked up curiously, eyes as wide as a tea cup in the silhouette of my head torch.

He continued.. “so we have a couple of challenging holes you can climb through. Firstly we have a rabbit hole, then we have a mouse hole and for the little and daring ones, we have a worm hole..”

The missus harks on at me, please can we go please can we go and I’m like.. 😦 erm..okayyy 😟

The rabbit hole and the mouse hole were easy, just like going through a muddy tunnel at the park. But then there was the wormhole.

The guide had to check our body sizes to see if we could make it through. He checks me over like, yeah you should be ok.. I should have know when he said “should be” 😶

Away go the group of little people to the wormhole entrance and I’m feeling pretty confident, proud to be classed as a little person for the first time of my life..

I start to enter and crawl along the wormhole, my girlfriend behind me, followed by a couple of teenage girls and a few smaller kids. I notice that the hole is getting smaller and smaller and I’m practically crawling along on my belly at this point. The path then takes an L shape which turns up and out of the damn hole. I start to try to get up the L and all of a sudden. STUCK. I was stuck in the wormhole. I’m panicking and having an anxiety attack, sweating and certainly thinking oh god I’m gonna live out the rest of my days in this bloody cave. The teenage girls behind us start crying and asking what is happening and whether they’ll ever be able to get out, but my girlfriend tells them that my ass is stuck in the cave and reassures them they won’t have the lady curves yet, so they’ll be fine.

Finally one member of the group comes along and shouts at me “are you okay” and I’m like “I’m stuck” *sobs* he tells me to take off my glasses and to twist my hips through the gap and finally I was free...!! 😀

And it didn’t help that all along the caving journey i’d collected rocks in my pockets, which dug into every single part of of my body as I was stuck. My girlfriend had said it wasn’t a good idea to collect them and was very smug at the end of the entire palaver 🙄
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Degbeme · 70-79, M
I am sorry I can`t finish reading this. I have claustrophobia big time and was feeling anxiety reading it. I`m sorry I truly am.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@GLITTER

I guess I need to edit that reply to 13. Duh me! 🤦‍♂️ Okay Glitter I`ll be the long lost forgetful uncle. ☺️ I look forward to more stories.

@Gangstress

No feeding Glitter to the sharks. 🤨
Gangstress · 41-45, F
@Degbeme 🤭 ok.

Youre definetly like a long lost family member 🤗😘
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@Gangstress Just sit me in the corner with brew and biccy`s 😅
CheshireCatalyst · 41-45, M
That's my nightmare. I can't imagine having to give up my rocks 😫
SW-User
@GLITTER you crawled around with those in your pockets? 😯
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@SW-User yeah 🤣🤣 in my pockets as well 🤣🤣
SW-User
@GLITTER 😂😂
TrunkZ · 61-69, M
I'm going for the subtle (not so) cheap humor: So you see a hole and your first instinct is to to fill it with part of your body? With an audience no less? ...and you almost had to get your rocks off before you pulled yourself out of this hole? And this event made your signifcant other cry out...in laughter?

You definitely are a fun one. 😁😁
TrunkZ · 61-69, M
@GLITTER Those must be some precious rocks 😋
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@TrunkZ haha they were just really pretty and sparkly lol
TrunkZ · 61-69, M
@GLITTER lol, that's cool
JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M
Ouch!

The only cave I have been to is Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, and you could fit a bus or even a small plane in some galleries.

(not my photo)

They have an area called Fat Man's Misery that requires some bending but you are still on your feet. They also have the Wild Cave tour, where you crawl through stuff. I did not take it but a guide on another walking tour pointed to a small hole in the wall of one gallery and said that is where the Wild Cave tour starts! Sheesh!
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@JoyfulSilence enjoy the museum adventure 😀
Peaches · F
@JoyfulSilence I'd LOVE to visit! 😍
JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M
@Peaches I hope you can someday!
Fantabulous · 46-50, F
🤣🤣🤣...I would have had a full on anxiety attack right there!
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Fantabulous god I did. You know when you’re shaking and you think this is the end, that was me lol I couldn’t believe how easy it was to get out when the guy instructed me but I just panicked and tried to pull myself through haha I’d do it again though (maybe 😦)
Fantabulous · 46-50, F
@GLITTER omg you brave, I'd be like F$%k that lol
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Fantabulous I was already in, the only way out was through the L 😂😂 And I just know if I hadn’t done it, she’d never let me live it down 😬😬
SW-User
I will not focus on the Freudian aspect of squeezing yourself into holes 🤭

There is no way you'd catch me doing that though. No way in hell 😐
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@SW-User that’s what I said from the safety of my home before the whole debacle 😂
Montanaman · M
This is the best story I've come across in a long while. I've not smiled and laughed so hard, and your imagery is spot on. When i was in college, i went cave exploring and i know that feeling of dread when one gets stuck in a place where there was no business.
Thank you for sharing. 🤣😂💕🤗
Kelly.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Montanaman aww thank you for your comment and glad you enjoyed the story! I can remember it like it was yesterday! Definitely one of those I’ll be telling for the rest of my life 😬
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GLITTER · 36-40, F
@missbeez lucky 😀😦
Scribbles · 36-40, F
You made it through. And I bet now the stress and anxiety of getting stuck no longer bothers you and you have only fond memories of your caving trip now. One time I went caving with a friend and yeah...they had an "adventurous" bit too. We had a moment of anxiety. But that was because we were squeezing through a tight area, and then suddenly my friend screamed and another person jumped and I turned and saw a rat scurry really, really close to us. Lol. Then I laughed and I spent the rest of the caving bit telling them of one of my trips to New York, where I saw many rats...like a rat jump up on the bottom shelf under a baby stroller, and then hop off and away. The parent didn't even notice.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Scribbles hahah that’s brilliant!! 😂😂
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
LMFAO. I have no words.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@JaggedLittlePill heheh !! Honestly prepare for drama if you ever visit us 🤭
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
@GLITTER The thing is..I have stories that are similar. Lmao. I try to do things and they never turn out normal. Always some damn thing goes wrong. 😂
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@JaggedLittlePill it’s the calamity Jane in us 😂😂
Gangstress · 41-45, F
Lmfao omg those bloody little girls crying at me going 'are we gonna die' I was like behave her bloody boobs got stuck didnt they! Lmao omg I was crying in laughter!
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Gangstress hehe!! 🤗🤗🤗 we do like an adventure. Me and my kicking knees 😋
Gangstress · 41-45, F
@GLITTER 🤗🤗 remember our triathlon last year lol??
GLITTER · 36-40, F
Lmao yeah that was awesome too 🤭🤭 @Gangstress
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
I'm so glad you're okay and so sorry this triggered an anxiety attack. I imagine that can be quite scary when stuck under ground. 🤗

We have a place up in New Hampshire that has a course down through caves with fun names like Orange Twist and Lemon Squeeze, but it's no where close to as deep as you describe. Glad you're okay.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@sarabee1995 when I came out I had to strip off the overalls they gave us, I was drenched in sweat lol I’m surprised I didn’t pop out like a cherry considering how moist I was 😂
SW-User
Oh lord one of my worst nightmares. I'm sweating just reading that. I can't watch caving in the TV without my anxiety kicking in. Tight space underground..... No no no NO.
SW-User
@GLITTER on hols. Feeling better than last week thanks
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@SW-User good stuff mate, glad you’re ok, had us worried xx
SW-User
@GLITTER 🤗😘
Peppa · 31-35, F
🤣Im sorru i laughed. Im more upset for your discomfort. But thought laughter would make light of the situation
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Peppa i definitely wouldn’t have if i wasn’t with the missus. But you know, I gotta show her I’m a bit tough 💪🏼💪🏼😂
Peppa · 31-35, F
@GLITTER init, thays a vety proud moment i hope you both got loads of photos... Abd happy anniversary x
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Peppa ill send you some pics they’ll make you LOL 😬
Lol atleast you got out
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@juiceyangel333 I know, I can’t imagine being a cave woman 😟
@GLITTER 😊😊
That’s a screamer of a story. Glad you made it out.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@wilderflower 😂😂 me too! It’s dark and weird underground lol
@GLITTER 😂
dirge · M
A day of adventure. And a great story to share.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@dirge 😬😬 I’ve got a few more ghoulish stories up my sleeve too 😂
SW-User
That sounds terrifying. We messed about in caves when we younger. I was never that keen and decided I'd gone far enough when we came to a bit called the cheese press, about 10 m of belly crawling. There is no way I'd fit through now, and there was no way I was going to try then.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@SW-User hahaha!! I wouldn’t dare go inside a cave without an instructor. There’s some near where we live and they terrify me! I can just imagine being lost forever in them 😣
SW-User
@GLITTER We were young and foolish. I think most of us got out.
Peaches · F
OMG?! 😧 If that wasn't so scary I could almost laugh!🙃 I love collecting rocks too. Where are these caves...I'd love to check them out some day. Great story, it was a fun read.👀⭐
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Peaches we went to a deep caving experience in the Forest of Dean but they also have one in Snowden when you can do a massive zip wire through the mountain 😨😨
Peaches · F
@GLITTER Sounds exciting, scary, and fun all at the same time!😯😜
SW-User
Ditto JLP.. I have no words!! LOL
but damnit Gangstress for loving challenges like that 😜
SW-User
@GLITTER and what’s wrong with that exactly?! Lol
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@SW-User hahah NOTHING I like comfort 🤭
SW-User
@GLITTER exactly!!!!
Hey, cool! I'm glad you weren't stuck long, and that you gave it a go ... I hope it was a positive thing to have done, retrospectively!

I've only been caving (properly) a couple of times, and I loved it ... but I'll never enter any squeeze I can't back out from ... for fear of the same thing happening. Wide flooded passages are pretty scary too, though.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@NudasPriest oooo I don’t think we saw anything like that. Such an awesome experience though 🤗
Teslin · M
I'm too claustrophobic to try that. I respect your bravery !!😳
Teslin · M
@GLITTER So true.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Teslin being responsible sucks lol
Teslin · M
@GLITTER I'm still a kid at heart, except going through tunnels 🤫
I love caves too! Never crawled in a space like that tho I have a small cave on my property tho I enjoy.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Bodymindsoul I love that!! You can use it as a bunker during the zombie apocalypse
cremationer · 70-79, M
A man needs to know in advance his limitations with both the tunnel and the girlfriends attitude. But the rocks in the pocket were your downfall , I am almost certain!
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@cremationer they did help also my man partner is actually my female partner, and she has no fear
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
I'm sorry I'm laughing. Lol!Gosh those rocks must have hurt. I'm glad you survived.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Eddiesolds hahah it was an amusing day 😅
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
@GLITTER I'm sure it was.id love to go caving one day
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Eddiesolds I would defo recommend it. There something soul soothing about being within the earth
WolfGirlwh0r3 · 36-40, T
Reading this was both exciting and fewer inducing, glad you made it out and are back among the living.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@WolfGirlwh0r3 😬 thanks for reading lol
Raine · F
I'm always collecting pebbles. Caving sounds something different to try.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Raine it was really such an amazing experience. I defo recommend it! The stones I found were iron ore 🙂
HappyBella · 46-50, F
As time passes you will learn to say no to things you don’t want to do.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@HappyBella why would I say no, it was one of the best and funniest experiences of my life lol you’ve got to challenge yourself, you only live once !
HappyBella · 46-50, F
@GLITTER true 😀
Cassandra900 · 31-35, F
Horrible😌
adorbz · 26-30, F
OMG actually this sounds super scary I would have been panicking so much 😱😱
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@adorbz I was literally dying 😂
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
I'm laughing so hard right now. Thank you for letting me laugh with you. I do not do caves in fear they will cave in on my butt.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Fungirlmmm haha it’s a pretty rational fear tbh 😂 glad you enjoyed the story 🤗
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
@GLITTER girl I would have been clawing those cave walls. I dont do small spaces ever.
luvin2flirt · 61-69, M
wonderful story
Wow sounds amazing but scary lol 😂
SW-User
😄 hilarious
summersong · F
😰Honest to god I’ve had nightmares like that! Stupid hips lol
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@summersong ikr! Damn my womanly form lol
wexxxxcccc · M
Your missus? You are male?
Gangstress · 41-45, F
@wexxxxcccc Well she is.
wexxxxcccc · M
@Gangstress lol Good for her. She should be allowed to be who she is. ☺
Gangstress · 41-45, F
exactly :) lol @wexxxxcccc
SW-User
Why did you have to take your glasses off to twist your hips 🤔
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@SW-User my glasses cover my whole body 😶


I think it was more take off anything that is likely to fall off/gonna stress you out right now
SW-User
@GLITTER oh right!! Great story 😃
SW-User
wow, that would have scared the shit out of me..very brave of you.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@SW-User i was pretty proud of myself for not dying lol

 
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