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I Am Confused About Love

I feel really uncomfortable admitting this.. but eh ๐Ÿ˜“
For some reason I'm obsessed with the thought of talking to others about ex's. Now the thing is, I technically don't have any ex's. I've been in one "relationship" that wasn't serious at all and her and I are now best friends so this doesn't count.
It might be my mind that makes me believe you're supposed to have had several relationships by a certain age and the fact that some of my younger friends have had quite a lot of relationships already kinda supports this assumption. It's giving me the impression that having relationships and ex's is some kind of trend that I have to be part of...
Now, I never think this way actively. If I look at it this way, of course it's stupid, it's more like a random thought that pops into my head from time to time and unfortunately it happens so often that I guess you can call it an obsession... ๐Ÿ˜ž
I feel like such a horrible person for saying this, but that's really it: I want a partner only to break up with them shortly after to be able to say that I have an ex.
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Paliglass ยท 41-45, F
Younger than 18 years of age relationships don't count lol so don't worry about it.

Ideally have 1 good relationship - I thought that was the idea, not a few rubbish ones (like me haha)