I Think About Having An Affair

I imagine that everyone in this group can understand the roller coaster to some level. Basically I find myself having more frustrated these and happy and exciting days. And honestly would welcome the opportunity to develop a relationship of sorts with a woman in a similar situation. For example do you ever wish you just get away and take a break?

Top | New | Old

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

I get why someone people finally break down and have an affair, such as a sexless marriage situation or a spouse that is terminally ill or otherwise in a grave medical situation.
Having affairs to relieve boredom instead of genuinely attempting to revive the marriage instead is not included in that category.
If you're honest with yourself, you're not looking for a relationship, just someone to f*uck. If that is your thing then it is, but be honest about what it is.
Marriages are supposed to suffer ups and downs. It won't always be fun and exciting. Chances are she isn't feeling it either, so why not say so?
People in sexless marriage (as I am) struggle very hard not to cave. It's not about boredom or a thrill, it's about a loss of a spouse emotionally. There is a big difference between the two.

View 1 more replies »

ughargh1 · 46-50, M

My question to you would be why are you so quick to judge who I am without getting to know me?

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

I am not judging you. You asked a question and I offered my opinion.

ughargh1 · 46-50, M

@ravenwind43: thank you for the clarity.

mlihere · 56-60, M

I know what you mean, I have had an affair. Please be warned that if you do decide to do it, and things go wrong, you will have to face the consequences of your action (I should know, I had to). You cannot unring that bell so to speak. You may think you're ready but think twice and think with your head that is on your shoulders not the one between your legs. It's your choice but be wise about it.

BellaLocura · 51-55, F

May I ask what about your current relationship has led you to this point?

View 1 more replies »

mlihere · 56-60, M

@ughargh1: Are you in love with your wife? If you are, talk to her and try to work it out before you go with an affair. As I said before, once you do it, you can't unring that bell.

BellaLocura · 51-55, F

My advice is to work on figuring out why there is more arguing and stress. I have thought about having an affair numerous times. It's human nature to want to escape frustrating circumstances. That said, I have never known anyone who had an affair that didn't end up in even worse circumstances.

Have you considered marriage counseling? My husband and I have recently started seeing a therapist together to try and resolve our issues that have built up over the last 16 years.

ChocolateSauce · 46-50, F

@ughargh1: Wow! How do you do it? I'm seeking counseling for a bad break up and trying to understand my part in the break up. I gave myself 100%. This was my fault. I thought if I gave him what he needed he would take that next step, which we spoke about was marriage.

It seems as though overnight everything changed. I asked myself these questions such as, Did I miss something? What did I miss? Did I forget too take care of my man somehow? WTF?

It was hard to hear the truth from my therapist but I needed to hear it. I had to get to know who I was again, and believe you and me that has been the hardest thing to do.

If you want your marriage to work, then work on it. If you have had enough of the bullshit, then do what you gotta do. Either way be true to yourself and your family. Arguing like that sounds exhausting.

Thehippienerd · 41-45, F

I wish I could get away and take a break. I just don't want the consequences and the heartache...

Add a comment...