I Never Got Over Death Of A Loved One

We met when we were twelve years old in junior high school. We were too young to understand the dance that people do when they meet before creating that bond for life friendship. There was an immediate shift of existing friendships and we became a team. If you saw one, you saw both. Our families knew to include each of us in plans, special dinners, events. Our parents often attended school activities for each of us into high school when we were attending two different schools. We were sisters by choice. This relationship carried through life. Boyfriends had to pass muster if they were going to make it long term. We found husbands that understood the bond. They got the "best friend" thing without competition.

I have siblings that I love, and like, but this sister of choice was my go to for every story I have to tell. Fifty years of stories, our husbands marvel at our tenure of friendship. We had plans to grow old together as well. Not now...plans broken.

Losing her to cancer has changed me. I'm lost. I don't know how to be an adult without her. Was I good enough as her friend? Where do I turn when there is a problem? Who do I call with a funny story or when current events outrage me? I truly loved her like no other. I'm so sad...