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I Think Potholes Are Evil

My name is Pete, Pete the pothole. I believe that we potholes are unfairly described as evil and destructive and I just want to set the record straight.

I was born one rainy night in December. An overloaded truck hit rolled down the road and as it passed a crack appeared. Over the next few weeks, I grew slowly. The water seeped through the crack and eroded the material under the asphalt. Then the water froze and the snow fell.

The plow truck caught a piece of pavement and enlarged me a little. Then suddenly a truck hit its brakes and that heavy weight caused a chuck of pavement to fail and collapse. Soon every tire that found me was causing broken asphalt and rocks to be flung from me and I quickly grew in size and shape.

I soon found that I was not alone, dozens of nearby potholes identified themselves and soon we were communicating with each other. We discussed the question of why we were formed and what our purpose was. It was a cute pothole named Susan who realized that it was our mission to take back the road and return it to nature. I like Susan....

It became our mission to work together to removed the offending asphalt and become not just potholes but natural mud puddles. We cheered each other on as we sought to join with our neighbors. Boy, did I want to join with Susan, she is such a cute pothole.

One method of measurement that we used was the damage done to the offending vehicles that needed the offensive asphalt. Jackson has the record with three cars knocked out of alignment and one flat tire. Yesterday I had the good fortune to flatten a tire and bend the rim. What a great moment for me. Susan complimented me and that made my day.

At the rate we're going, another couple of months and we'll have returned this road back to nature. This is greatlldmaugrhphaghmnnumph.

"This is just a temporary patch, if they don't repave this road this summer, these damn potholes will be back," said Joe the road crew boss.
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saintsong · 41-45, F
Cute story!

 
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