I Am In a Complicated Relationship

I'm 19 and he is in his late 20s. My parents have not met him and I haven't met his either. That's because I'm not sure how my dad will take it because he's black. Also we haven't because we can't get past keeping everything on the down low. I am so tired of hooking up in vacant parking lots. I'm tired of doing things during the nighttime. I want to go out during the daytime. I would love to go get lunch or walk to the park,hold hands and snuggle on a bench. Everytime I bring it up it's always some excuse. Oh I'm not ready, I'm not sure.

Okay why? Are you seeing someone else? Are you in the closet? Do you not want to be seen with me or known as a guy who bangs guys? I don't get it. I do care about him but I'm just annoyed. We are supposed to meet up in an hour or so. I want to bring this up again but I don't feel like fighting.