I Want to Disappear

I'm just going to go someplace where nobody knows who I am and live as a recluse. I think it's best to just save face with everyone and fade on out until I figure things out. I'll cite rehab or traveling as the reason for my extended absence. I'll get a new phone number so nobody can reach me. I'll come back when everything is as it should be. I don't know where I'm going but I know I cannot stay where I currently live. There's nothing left for me there. I feel like I'm growing up in my hometown all over again. There was no real place to be fabulous to be glamorous except for the 24 hour grocery store I used to parade around in. I used to pretend it was the old-school Studio54 and I was one of those Warhol superstars I had read about. That's what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a socialite/celebutante. That was supposed to be me. Dreams dashed.

I really think that's what I'm going to do. I still have to come up with an excuse as to why I cancelled my birthday party but right now I just have to figure out where I'm going first. Ohio? Iowa? Delaware? Wyoming? Someplace where nothing ever happens with nothing to do. Almost like a funeral except I'm not physically dead.