I Want to Feel Normal Again

So much has changed so fast and it's continuing to change. Something that I already hate. There was a time where I abused presc<x>ription medication. I used it to take the pain away. To take my stress away. But it only made it worse. I weened off of it. Crazy thing is now I am on strong pain medication for legitimate reasons. It makes me want to cry. I am more tired, pessimistic, and moody than I naturally am. I hate people and those around me. I also hate myself. I feel this medication is only making me worse. That's what it's done before. But it's my option for the next few months. I feel a new kind of pain and all I want for it is to go away. I can't find solutions. The people I'm close with don't understand and never will. I'd just like for my life to go back to the way it used to be. I've never wanted to leave this world as much as I do now. Leaving everyone and everything behind. All I ask is to finish off my senior year like everyone one else.