I Broke Up With My Boyfriend

I was young when i fell into my first relationship, heavy and hard, like most peoples first love. I was dumb and naive, thinking i knew everything about life and about the future i wanted to have. Sometimes when a good relationships ends badly, it pulls down all the other good things in your life, just as it did for me. I lost my myself, my career, my close family connections...and basically everything that i lived for.

Good relationships SUCK!!!

Why? because they hurt the most. They change your life the most. They ruin you. My best friend in the whole world married the man of my dreams, the man i loved for 3 years. It was complicated and hurt badly, and for years i struggled to breathe, i struggled to keep that knife away from my wrist, those drugs away from my mouth. But, somehow, for a reason i will never be able to comprehend, i did it. A girl like me, scared , weak, unpowerful...i made it.

I have a buzzing career building its success slowly, new friends who are just like me and a new life in a new state. Yes i ran away from my problems... but there isnt anything wrong with that, is there...? It was better than addiction, sadness and suicide. Although i lost many things that i never thought id loose or ever cope without...im happy.Yes, i wish i still had my family and my old friends and of course my boyfriend....but this direction has taught me alot about life in the weirdest ways, life is often like that i find...strange and sad things happen to us so god can teach us the most amazing things.

I wont bore you with details, but remember this. I am not the person i was, yet i still did not change, i just became the person i was supposed to be, like a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon. Ive been happy, ive been sad. Ive seen the highs and ive seen the lows. The key to happiness is accepting life as a whole for what it is, the good things AND the bad things. We cant have it all, but you'll get pretty close as long as you keep travelling in that direction.