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I Don't Know My Father

I knew very little of my father. Just the little bits my mom would tell me. It was the early '60's and being an unwed mother was not acceptable. My grandmother had decided I was to go up for adoption as soon as I was born. The day I came into this world my grandfather stepped in and saved me. My mom married when I was two and the man adopted me. I found out at age twelve the he wasn't my birth father. Over the years I pressured my mom for information about my dad with no success. It wasn't until my grandmother passed away that mom told me her story. She met him through a friend. He was a young officer in the air force. They had a short fling of young lust before he got deployed. My grandmother never let my mom speak of him or contact him. The man never knew I existed. I never cared much to find out anything because it was pointless. Then I recently had a talk with my mom and got some information out of her. I learned today that his name is on the wall at the Vietnam war memorial in Washington, D.C. After all these years now I know and wish he would of had the chance to know me.
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Peaches · F
@jaymic64 They're out there...😒
jaymic64 · M
Sad isn’t it. @Peaches
Peaches · F
@jaymic64 Yes.
Peaches · F
Awww, that's just so bittersweet. 🥀 My dad was in the military too, I don't know him that well. I've seen him a handful of times...
aradia11 · 61-69, F
Sorry for your loss..n the fact you never got to meet.
I believe if HE knew of you he would have done the right thing.
My Husbands mother was Divorced w one kid.(my husband) the story of his ACTUAL father is vague. That is a skeleton licked deep in the closet...I know his moms family hated him..we don't know why?
He tried to see my husband a couple of times yet was RUN OFF
Again no one will ever know the truth.
There is no one left to tell.
I feel for you...it isn't easy yet I believe your dad was a good guy!!he left this world heroic
cloudi · 36-40, F
I'm sorry, Jaymic, for both of you never knew each other. But at least now you know you have an awesome father :)
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
I am so sorry for your loss, and for his as well because you would have made him a proud daddy.
rottenrobi · 56-60, F
It's hard to know what to say.
I'm so sorry.
Loretta78 · 46-50, F
I am very sorry for all this! 😓
Persephone · 51-55, F
Such a sad story. I will never understand grandmothers putting respectability before family and giving away their heritage! So glad your grandfather had some sense!
HeavenBesideYou · 56-60, F
It blows my mind a little bit that this man had a child and never even knew it. It must be frustrating for you to know who he is now, but not be able to get to know him. I'm sorry if it weighs heavy.

Hugs
SW-User
Just6 read this...I must say it´s a too common thing. Life isn´t exactly fair, not even easy.... I try to look at situations from all thsir sides... it´s one of "What could have been if..." cases, I´d say...
shenanigans · 56-60, M
He did perish in the war so even if they stayed in contact you would not have met him but you might of been part of his family
Lacymom67 · 56-60, F
Wow-- that's an incredible story. I'm sorry you never got the chance to know your dad. I hope youve been able to find some peace.
SW-User
Wow. How sad. It's horrible how the selfish actions of others can affect so many lives.
jaymic64 · M
Most definitely @SW-User
jaymic64 · M
That's a sad story. It sucks doesn't it. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
My father did not want me. In fact I know very little about him and he left before I was born. He died when I was approximately 7. My mother speaks of it matter of factly...like it is somehow normal to not know anything about him or his family. She says "I think he had a son too"...oh..gee thanks mom...so you think I have another sibling and..well okie dokie. Also she "cannot remember" the last wifes name and claims not to have any information ..except when he died the wife sent things to me. A picture. A small radio. A belt buckle. Almost the only proof of the man who is my father.
Peaches · F
@JaggedLittlePill I wasn't wanted by either one of my parents. My father never told my other half sisters and one brother about me, I found her on face book, she was just a 3 hour drive from me. I went and met her.
jaymic64 · M
Thanks I'd like that. I want to find out more.
SW-User
This was so touching to read. Thank you for sharing.
jaymic64 · M
Thanks. I'm trying to learn more.
jaymic64 · M
You just never know. Thanks :)
jaymic64 · M
Thanks for reading.
UserNameSW · 46-50, M
So sorry😢
jaymic64 · M
Thank you jade :)
jaymic64 · M
Thanks cloudi :)
Sepia · 36-40, F
Maybe grandma hated the idea that your dad is not married to your mom..she tries to cover but its a hurtful secrecy..you had a great dad. Happy memorial day
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
I understand this so much...and if you ever want to talk I am here.

Last week I found my father's death certificate online... Which told me a few things that were a little shocking to say the least.

 
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