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I Need Emotional Intimacy

So, I had this amazing (or so I thought) connection with someone. Distance has been a challenge, but not impossible. I'm an emotional person and crave that intimacy. I've never had it before. I was married almost 20 years...and gave so much of myself, I've almost forgotten who I am. So, this time around, I vowed to find someone else who can give what I do.

So, I find him. I've been there for him emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, financially (and I don't have a lot myself). I text him through the day to check in or tell him I love him or thinking of him. I do little things so he knows I care like send a poem, or a picture, or whatever.

I have to initiate to hear from him. If I didnt, he wouldn't do it. He's always too busy with work. He was supposed to come over this weekend (yesterday), and instead....I text to see whats happening, and find out he's working. So, he plans on coming over that night (last night). Next thing I know it's 11:00 and he says hes too tired to drive so he will be here in the morning. Well...around noon today I text him. He tells me he's fixing a leak and needs to get that done first. Kind makes me feel like a fool and like crap.

I don't deserve this! There's got to be a man out there who can give me what I need. I know I can't be alone in this...
Just from what you have said, i wonder how amazing the connection really is. It seems one sided. Such a giving person deserves a lot more in return...long distance is not an excuse for his behaviour.
TenderHeart · 46-50, F
@WatercolourWildFlowers I broke it off officially tonight.....
@TenderHeart i hope you are ok, and also am hopeful you will find that true amazing connection where you both give equally. 🤗
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@TenderHeart hugs flower. That must be so tough. I hope in time you will look back on how wonderful it was early on andcremember it fondly. Some people NEVER get to experience something so amazing. It will hurt. It will take a long time to heal but i hope eventually you will remembervwhat you had.....not what it became.
I in this process right now...grieving whats been lost.....its not easy.
Hugs and best wishes x
SoFine · 46-50, F
Your relationship foundation is how you are at home in you. When your self worth is set, that is you validate you, you complete you. Then seeking a mate, will be as an asset, someone to ADD value, not to be propped up.

If you are insecure then, you will attract those that bring it out. Their is a big difference between "NEEDS" and "WANTS"....

Your job for you in life is your own happiness, no man, no man will ever have you be happy, you are your happy place.

People ADD to us, they can never fill empty and needy.

Your inner love, is your foundation, build this up from inwards, then your seeking will be rewarded.
TenderHeart · 46-50, F
@SoFine Which is why I've stepped back :)
WellFrog · 56-60, M
You are most assuredly not alone in this, as I know we'll how it can be to be the one who does and gives just everything.

Having the freedom to pursue what and who you need, I say do not settle. That is an insideous trap.
SW-User
You're so not alone..
and yes, there is someone that actually reciprocate and seek the same
TenderHeart · 46-50, F
@SW-User Really? That isn't from a Hollywood script? lol
SW-User
@TenderHeart lol... yes really!
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@TenderHeart its worth noting tho, that such strong connections and bonds are not always with partners or lovers. So...even if the relationship doesnt work in the way you thought it would oe hoped it might....people we bond with may well still have a role in our lives....just not the one we thought it might be x
Livingwell · 61-69, M
I wouldn't put up with it. You deserve better. He’s just playing you. There are men out there that will return your affection and a bit more. *hugs!
Mikemcneil · 61-69, M
I guess it depends on how much you believe in him. If you think he's messed you around cut your losses now. You deserve respect.
BearDownChicago · 41-45, M
Long distance is tough. Before getting married we were in an ldr. Its difficult especially when you crave her
Quimliqer · 70-79, M
There is, unfortunately sifting out the chaff is painful. Don't give up the faith, you'll be rewarded...
SW-User
Ditch him, if he is not dependable now, he will never be
TenderHeart · 46-50, F
@SW-User I did....I walked away tonight :(
SW-User
@TenderHeart cheers to you! Get rid of that sad face, it should be a happy face !!
TenderHeart · 46-50, F
He's canceled 3 times on me now. Haven't seen him in 2 months. It's tough, but manageable.
mrmoose · 70-79, M
i'm sure there is someone for you
i've been looking 5 years and have given up
Thebartender · 36-40, M
I am sorry.. Hugs for u

 
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