Sad, broken and deeply alone... NOW with added covid19 and civil unrest!!!

Gonna be 48 in August 🤪. Why do I exist? Why do I bother in THIS world. My world was far beyond broken long before the coronavirus crap. The world itself is revealing how twisted and messed up it is in lots of hidden areas. I just don't know why I'm trying to fight anymore. The only person I'm still fighting for truly is my elderly mother. I'm trying to stay strong and semi-sane for her mostly. I think I would've checked out long ago if it weren't for her. Need strength. Need hope. Need something to make my heart feel not so alone and empty. Lost any form of faith i had. 😥