I Like To Give Advice
So this was interesting.. I was supposed to meet someone this weekend. She'd been asking for a meet like this for about a year now. I spent the last month or two making it possible (getting the time off work, the gear / tools / toys to make it special, finding the right cabin, mental prep, research..). Today I am pulling on to the highway, packed to the gills and ready for the 10 hour drive, when I get the message. She's changed her mind, feeling like she needs to go in a different direction, etc.
But wait, this isn't going to be one of those posts. Its one of these
https://vimeo.com/176370337
I was a bit dazed at first, asked for clarification that this is what she really wanted... and eventually I got the message back that yes, it was. So I canceled what I could still canceled, bit the bullet on what I couldn't, made sure she was emotionally ok and that she knew I wasn't mad. Throughout it I talked with a friend who was having relationship drama and needed a shoulder to cry on, I reached out to a friend who had needed help this weekend with an event (since now I was in a position to be of help), set up dinner with another friend I hadn't seen in a while (don't want to lose her just because we are getting busy), and made plans with my gf with our suddenly unexpected free time.
Here's the thing.. I've seen a lot of people get hit by changes in life, or people changing their minds on them, or so on. And they get hit really hard, the drama is strong with them. So I guess I'm posting this to share a secret - one that took me a long time to learn. Whatever happens, however much anticipation, eagerness, nervousness, sleepless nights, etc.. It is just not that important. Life keeps going. No one is required to do anything with you because you wanted them to, planned for them to, 'you've earned it / deserve it / need it', or even because they'd agreed to. And its not about you, its about where they're at in their life - and where they're at only affects you if you want it to. All you have to do is.. well, nothing. A car pulls in front of you, slow down. Traffic clears up, speed up. Roadwork, go around. Bridge blocked, stop at a diner. They're responsible for their experience, you are responsible for yours, and as long as you are taking care of yourself its all ok. That's the whole big secret to it all, what's pushed by Watts, Osho, Lao Tsu, the Buddha, Jesus, Shiva.. the secret is that whatever happens, its just ok, a drop in the ocean, and you get control over precisely one thing - you. (To what extent you can exert That control, that's where the work comes in, we're too used to giving that part away to others, society, rules, stories, our past, our future, our internal chemistry, etc)
So yea, its one of these posts instead. Just had this happened, was sitting at my desk smiling while figuring out my new weekend plans, and figured I'd share. Enjoy (or don't - you do you)
But wait, this isn't going to be one of those posts. Its one of these
https://vimeo.com/176370337
I was a bit dazed at first, asked for clarification that this is what she really wanted... and eventually I got the message back that yes, it was. So I canceled what I could still canceled, bit the bullet on what I couldn't, made sure she was emotionally ok and that she knew I wasn't mad. Throughout it I talked with a friend who was having relationship drama and needed a shoulder to cry on, I reached out to a friend who had needed help this weekend with an event (since now I was in a position to be of help), set up dinner with another friend I hadn't seen in a while (don't want to lose her just because we are getting busy), and made plans with my gf with our suddenly unexpected free time.
Here's the thing.. I've seen a lot of people get hit by changes in life, or people changing their minds on them, or so on. And they get hit really hard, the drama is strong with them. So I guess I'm posting this to share a secret - one that took me a long time to learn. Whatever happens, however much anticipation, eagerness, nervousness, sleepless nights, etc.. It is just not that important. Life keeps going. No one is required to do anything with you because you wanted them to, planned for them to, 'you've earned it / deserve it / need it', or even because they'd agreed to. And its not about you, its about where they're at in their life - and where they're at only affects you if you want it to. All you have to do is.. well, nothing. A car pulls in front of you, slow down. Traffic clears up, speed up. Roadwork, go around. Bridge blocked, stop at a diner. They're responsible for their experience, you are responsible for yours, and as long as you are taking care of yourself its all ok. That's the whole big secret to it all, what's pushed by Watts, Osho, Lao Tsu, the Buddha, Jesus, Shiva.. the secret is that whatever happens, its just ok, a drop in the ocean, and you get control over precisely one thing - you. (To what extent you can exert That control, that's where the work comes in, we're too used to giving that part away to others, society, rules, stories, our past, our future, our internal chemistry, etc)
So yea, its one of these posts instead. Just had this happened, was sitting at my desk smiling while figuring out my new weekend plans, and figured I'd share. Enjoy (or don't - you do you)
41-45, M
