I Hurt When Im With Him And Hurt Without Him

He was my friend and he was there for me when I needed someone to talk to. I knew he had a crush on me so when he sent me presents that made me feel pretty again and help my self esteem I knew it was both real friendship and an overture. I am ashamed to admit it, but he sent me money for food because I wasn’t going to make it. My circumstances are very unstable right now. I accepted all of his help and all he wanted in exchange was to spend more time helping me. He does research for me and helps me find resources. He talks to me when I’m panicking.
We spent some real time together and I’ve never felt so cared for; Not lust or a need to possess like I have from other men. He’s not a super model and I never would have looked at him as a lover. Literally the old definition of friend zone because I wouldn’t have ever taken the time to know him as closely as I am now because I had my own shallow blinders on like the ones that I dislike when others see me.
I’m definitely falling in love with him on a level I didn’t believe in. I’ve never felt anything like it, but I feel unworthy of him now. I want to be with him completely, but I don’t want it to be just because I need his support and caring. I want to be able to be sure I can love him like he deserves and that I’m not just letting him be the hero I need.