Anxious
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I always get weird feelings on Mother's Day

My own relationship with my mom was absolute rubbish, and I never thought I'd be any kind of parent, but now I've got a family and a stepdaughter and ... I don't know. Trying to make sure things are better than when I got here, in general.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and all the parents in general out there, because this stuff is hard and no two people will tell you how to do it the same way twice.
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I also grew up in a very abusive home. A very dysfunctional household where my mother and father would fight each other in front of us. My mom was an alcoholic my step dad was especially abusive. We didn’t celebrate holidays, my mom stayed in her room all day. Like you, I just want to try to do my best to raise my kids better than how I was brought up and didn’t really plan on even having children.

It’s very hard unlearning dysfunctional behaviors when they are perceived as normal to you.

I hate Mother’s Day basically because I feel like a failure
Zeusdelight · 61-69, M
@DeluxedEdition Feeling like a failure is for you to change. It seems to be based on your thoughts that somehow you cannot choose the correct behaviour because of your mother's example. We always make mistakes as parents. No one is perfect or will ever be. Your efforts and intelligence will help make your choices right. Start trusting them to help you and your children and your partner enjoy your efforts at and success at Mothering.
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
@Zeusdelight those are wonderful points.

I try to watch videos and read parenting books and developmental psychology. The generational curses stopped when they ran into me 😉

I think I am especially hard on myself anyway
Zeusdelight · 61-69, M
@DeluxedEdition Thank you. But, be careful about being hard on yourself. Learning to be your best friend is important too:)
TiffAching · 26-30, F
Well, I didn't cry this year, so ... progress!
Zeusdelight · 61-69, M
Wonderful to hear that your efforts are hitting the spot in general. Well done. You are breaking through the mistakes of your Mum for your children and family.

 
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