I had that same realization myself, for me personally, It's hard in some ways, It's like I'm empty inside and wanting some type of love to come in and be the engine that drives me forward and motivates me to genuinely be a selfless person.I believe if I loved somebody, they'd motivate me to be a better person.Without somebody I currently have those feelings for, I'm selfish, I only care about my own comfort, appearing outwardly beautiful to the world and my own sense of pleasure.Inside, I'm cold and care about no one, and I think I may not be capable of that.I hate to acknowledge it but right now, I only want to use people to meet my own ends.I don't want anyone hurt but I want nothing to do with most people otherwise.