My childhood was warm and it was good, and it was solid... and it was [i]home[/i]. There were no worries no tears no feelings of worthlessness no self hatred no loneliness no anger no pain just utter bliss...
When i come across something that reminds me of my past i begin to feel a sharp pain in my chest, it feels as if my chest curls up into a fetal position and is howling in pain. I feel a sense of hopelessness because i [i]can not[/i] go back to my past and i want to go back so desperately.
I still have dreams about my past, all the happy places from my past and all the people who've ive met from my past that had brought me so much joy. Sometimes i wish i would just lose memory of my past beacuse it hurts too much to be reminded of something that i can never go back to.
Sometimes i feel like im dreaming or in a coma and one day ill wake up from all of this and ill still be that little girl lying in bed wearing her all pink hello kitty pajamas hugging her favorite care bear doll. But i know that is not true i know that my childhood...my past it is [i]gone[/i]. Barried away and theres is no going back.
@SW-User There's more in all this, your actual experiences and feelings, than you are saying here.
SW-User
@mathsman its hard to write down what im feeling or even say it i try to explain the best i can in a few paragraph i cant write my whole life story but writting down how i feel makes me feel a better sorry if people dont understand it all i know is writting how i feel makes me feel better
@Chickie Did you see the conversation she and I had? You're speaking out of turn on a subject that you know little to nothing about. FYI I did not ask her in any way to involve me in whatever decesion she made. It was simply a suggestion for her to look into and it and make up her own mind. And to think that all BDSM is sex related is to know nothing about the topic. We live in the age of google. Enlighten yourself.
@MrK007 I known enough about it to see that it's bullshit and abuse normalized. It's not rocket science to know that BDSM is sex related because you people ruin everything and make everything sexual!
Look at your own comment you came to her post and assumed that about her that's you turning everything kinky/sexual.
@MrK007 [quote]You're speaking out of turn on a subject that you know little to nothing about.[/quote] that's what they always say when people call them out of their BS keep your kinks to yourself.
That's an interesting take on things. Usually, people want their past to be erased because it wasn't a good place.
You want it to be erased because of it's blissful and you recognise it as home.
SW-User
@SW-User that's not why i want it to be erased.. i just need to move on i cant move on i keep dreaming and being sad about my past i just need to let it go and accept how things are now it isnt good but i feel i need to accept it and try and find happiness in my present
