I Know My Spirit Animal
I've been seeing an osteopath, let's call him Nigel. He does cranial osteopathy, and believes that the body stores pain in tension and injuries. So, now I know why I broke my wrist in Year 9 (high school) on the hockey pitch. I knew there was lots of pain coming, and I needed somewhere to store it.
I didn't ask him to work on it, and I resisted too. We built up a bond from the moment we met at a yoga class, and the instant he mentioned he was a cranial specialist (I assumed he meant head and neck at that point), and did lots of abdominal work... I knew the universe put us together and so did he. So I trusted him completely and responded awesomely to the treatment for my back pain, tight neck, and wonky posture.
This week, he decided to work on my wrist - even though I didn't mention it and it never causes me problems. It resisted his work, and so did I. I realised my trust in him, albeit apparently deep, was only on the surface. He was unearthing something I didn't want to face. The loss of dominatedgirl from Experience Project, and the loss of MrCutBleedSmile from EP and here. Those two people, along with a few others, but these two left abruptly. And I had got deeply involved with both, knowing details of their stories and truly working through them together, apparently (so they said) not like anyone else.
That pain came over me like a wave, and a lion leapt out of me and prowled the room. He was keeping watch over Nigel, to make sure his intentions were genuine and that I was safe. I had told Nigel at the start that for the whole 2 weeks before that appointment, I felt like I was staring a lion in the face. I had no idea the cause, but I was tense and nervous the entire time, to that point you begin to notice an ever so slight hesitation before some words, almost like the precursor to a stutter.
The lion was there, I know because Nigel told me afterwards that it was prowling the room - but peacefully, because Nigel truly was there to work positively with me. When the pain came out, when I knew what it was all about, I said it and tears streamed down my face. The lion roared an almighty roar just then, not to scare us, but to say LOOK AT ME. Look at the power of me. Look how astonishing I am. Look at how amazing that situation was. And I did.
Then, quietly, I drifted out to see both of them. This was similar to my experiences of allowing the dead to talk through me, but different in that I actually knew about the astral projection that happened for me to get to them. It took a lot of energy and I never asked Nigel about the energy he felt at that moment. But I did. First DG, she has a family now, is struggling but generally ok. MCBS is a paramedic, his life dream as he discovered while he was talking to me on EP (or here I don't remember now). He's the awesome but quiet paramedic with no way to prove he's the awesome one, who won't blow his own trumpet so is trying to find a way to step up the ladder without becoming hero-like or whatever. He's just doing his job but the hardest part is still interpersonal interactions. He'll get it though. 2 years clean from C back in Nov 17 according to his last post (which I missed for some months, so didn't catch him to reply to). Impressive. Awesome. Inspiring, in fact.
So, towards the end after I came back, exhausted, the lion leapt onto my chest and melted into me.
Just now, 2 weeks later, that very lion came to life. I awakened like the robots in Humans. A sharp, deep breath took over my body and I breathed hard and deep for say a minute. I breathed out and held the out breath for a solid minute. I was overwhelmed with a new sense of life. I believe my head and my heart just reconnected, through my spirit animal, through Leo.
Comments of any kind welcome.
Thank you.
I didn't ask him to work on it, and I resisted too. We built up a bond from the moment we met at a yoga class, and the instant he mentioned he was a cranial specialist (I assumed he meant head and neck at that point), and did lots of abdominal work... I knew the universe put us together and so did he. So I trusted him completely and responded awesomely to the treatment for my back pain, tight neck, and wonky posture.
This week, he decided to work on my wrist - even though I didn't mention it and it never causes me problems. It resisted his work, and so did I. I realised my trust in him, albeit apparently deep, was only on the surface. He was unearthing something I didn't want to face. The loss of dominatedgirl from Experience Project, and the loss of MrCutBleedSmile from EP and here. Those two people, along with a few others, but these two left abruptly. And I had got deeply involved with both, knowing details of their stories and truly working through them together, apparently (so they said) not like anyone else.
That pain came over me like a wave, and a lion leapt out of me and prowled the room. He was keeping watch over Nigel, to make sure his intentions were genuine and that I was safe. I had told Nigel at the start that for the whole 2 weeks before that appointment, I felt like I was staring a lion in the face. I had no idea the cause, but I was tense and nervous the entire time, to that point you begin to notice an ever so slight hesitation before some words, almost like the precursor to a stutter.
The lion was there, I know because Nigel told me afterwards that it was prowling the room - but peacefully, because Nigel truly was there to work positively with me. When the pain came out, when I knew what it was all about, I said it and tears streamed down my face. The lion roared an almighty roar just then, not to scare us, but to say LOOK AT ME. Look at the power of me. Look how astonishing I am. Look at how amazing that situation was. And I did.
Then, quietly, I drifted out to see both of them. This was similar to my experiences of allowing the dead to talk through me, but different in that I actually knew about the astral projection that happened for me to get to them. It took a lot of energy and I never asked Nigel about the energy he felt at that moment. But I did. First DG, she has a family now, is struggling but generally ok. MCBS is a paramedic, his life dream as he discovered while he was talking to me on EP (or here I don't remember now). He's the awesome but quiet paramedic with no way to prove he's the awesome one, who won't blow his own trumpet so is trying to find a way to step up the ladder without becoming hero-like or whatever. He's just doing his job but the hardest part is still interpersonal interactions. He'll get it though. 2 years clean from C back in Nov 17 according to his last post (which I missed for some months, so didn't catch him to reply to). Impressive. Awesome. Inspiring, in fact.
So, towards the end after I came back, exhausted, the lion leapt onto my chest and melted into me.
Just now, 2 weeks later, that very lion came to life. I awakened like the robots in Humans. A sharp, deep breath took over my body and I breathed hard and deep for say a minute. I breathed out and held the out breath for a solid minute. I was overwhelmed with a new sense of life. I believe my head and my heart just reconnected, through my spirit animal, through Leo.
Comments of any kind welcome.
Thank you.
36-40, M
