I Cant Have Children

i cant have children, i didnt realise how this would affect me when got older, when i was young i thought it was good, no need for condoms, i had a blast, of course HIV,AIDS came along and curbed my enthusiasm for a while, but it meant my relationships would always end with no reason i could see,so now i am in a club of quite alot of people , who dont have thier own kids,i have step kids, but they are older, and we are like aquaintances, i hate programs about babies, or people having babies,ive never been rich enough to adopt, or foster.
so now what do i do with me time? and whilst parents worry about their children getting illor dying, i worry about myself getting ill and dying. still could be worse,