I Want A Fresh Start

We need to build a new history, with the way things are now, it wouldn't hurt to have some friendly chit chat, and try to get along....We couldn't get personal anymore...I couldn't tell you all of my secrets anymore...it would just be impersonal, and forgotten...I'm glad that you are okay, and that you never fell like I feared you would....if me leaving you alone means that you get to keep your peace of mind then I am more than happy to let you go, even if that means that I'll never get any answers to my questions. I already know what happened and so do you....It was God's will, to unleash the false prophet on me....and I really need to work on trusting Him again, and keep the faith. And figure out ways to accept God's will in my life and continue to love Him and obey Him, no matter what the cost. And I will. I just ordered a new amplified cross reference bible online, and I'm looking forward to receiving it and studying it.....I am preparing myself to wake up in the mornings and attend a new church, not knowing if I should explain to them what happened so that they can better equip me to go out into the world the next time, and fear not, and count the cost and pick up my cross, and count my losses as less than loss.....I think that I did an excellent job handling your lewd behavior towards me....I am ashamed of giving into the spirit of Jezebel and not speaking the words of life to counteract the false prophet, but you live you learn. I'll try to do better the next time, though I fear that I'll never live down, what the devil made me do, I need to accept God's forgiveness and wash my robes clean in the blood of the lamb, anything more comes from the devil. I have been set free. Here I am talking about the past when all I want is to move forward and never look back....Prehaps I'm just preparing myself for the next time.....until then I should enjoy my new found peace....I am grateful to have been set free from the spirit of Jezebel, and even though I have lost you, I still have my family and friends, and a brand new lease on life, this time I won't wreck it by giving that wicked demon a foothold. I am free to love people with a brotherly love, which is a deep love with brotherly affection, to love people for who they are, without a hint of romance or intamacy which leads to impurity. Most men wouldn't understand.....thank God I no longer consider myself attractive then Prehaps people could love me for my personality, without attraction...as for me, I won't be going out of my way, to getting to know men whom I find insanely attractive.....why tempt myself to fall into impure thoughts? Truth be told I liked your face, and your bald head, and your tall form...but there was never no mad attraction, I was never intimidated by your handsome looks, it was just a simple appreciation for you pleasant looks, I never gawked at you like the false prophet said, and truth be told....I did pretend to be wildly attracted to you on here just to yank the chain of the undercovers, just for fun.....and I do wish to flatter you....You are a very handsome man and I love to see you smile. It melts my heart......one thing that I haven't gotten over is missing you. I do miss you, like I've lost someone who was supposed to be my friend...