I Want To Say This To My Dad

I yelled at my father the other night and he broke into tears. Ever since that night, I’ve been crying every single night. I did say sorry to him but the guilt is eating me - the picture of him crying keeps coming back.
He has put up with me and been there for me throughout. Other men in my life have treated me like shit but I’ve hurt the one person who has been there for me throughout, so much so that I wish he outlives me, that I did first.
Sorry dad, I’m very sorry 😥😥 😐. God help me