I Feel Sometimes It Is All About Perspective
This is an oldie, but a goldie!....
Dear Mum and Dad,
Since I left for college I have been remiss in writing, and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before.
I'll bring you up to date now; but before you read on, please sit down. Are you sitting down? Don't read on unless you are!
I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and concussion that I got when I jumped out of my dormitory window when it caught on fire (shortly after my arrival here) has pretty well healed. I only get those sick headaches once a day now.
Fortunately, the fire in my dorm and the jump was witnessed by an attendant at the gas station. He ran over, took me to the hospital, and continued to visit me there. When I got out of the hospital, I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out-conditions of my room; so he was kind enough to invite me to share his ba<x>sement bedroom flat with him. It's sort of small, but cute.
He is a very fine boy, and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant! I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents, and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same tender care and devotion that you gave me when I was a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection that I carelessly caught from him. I know, however, that you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind; and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know that your often-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by that.
In conclusion, now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire. I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital. I am not pregnant. I am not infected, and there is no boyfriend in my life.
However, I am failing history and science, and I wanted you to see this in proper perspective.
Your loving daughter
Dear Mum and Dad,
Since I left for college I have been remiss in writing, and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before.
I'll bring you up to date now; but before you read on, please sit down. Are you sitting down? Don't read on unless you are!
I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and concussion that I got when I jumped out of my dormitory window when it caught on fire (shortly after my arrival here) has pretty well healed. I only get those sick headaches once a day now.
Fortunately, the fire in my dorm and the jump was witnessed by an attendant at the gas station. He ran over, took me to the hospital, and continued to visit me there. When I got out of the hospital, I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out-conditions of my room; so he was kind enough to invite me to share his ba<x>sement bedroom flat with him. It's sort of small, but cute.
He is a very fine boy, and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant! I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents, and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same tender care and devotion that you gave me when I was a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection that I carelessly caught from him. I know, however, that you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind; and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know that your often-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by that.
In conclusion, now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire. I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital. I am not pregnant. I am not infected, and there is no boyfriend in my life.
However, I am failing history and science, and I wanted you to see this in proper perspective.
Your loving daughter
41-45, F
