I Want to Be In a Relationship

I've only had one serious boyfriend but that ended when he "took my innocence" and from then, a bunch of guys want to do it with me. Saying they like me and stuff just to get me in bed. I can't find a guy who won't use me for that. I want someone who will love me for me and not for my body. There aren't those types of guys anymore. Now you have to search real deep for them. All of my best friends are in relationships and I'm always a third wheel. I want to find someone who can make me happy and not be with me just for lust. Because I'm sick and tired of those guys. I hate them.

Also when I confess to a guy saying that I like him, and he likes me back. We keep on talking and then after a week he pretends that nothing ever happen and that the feeling wasn't mutual. I always get those types of guys as well. It hurts me that I can't find just one guy who won't play with me. And its sad that I'm giving up on relationships. I don't feel love anymore, its something that has vanished over time. I don't think anyone would be willing to get to know a girl like me who's suicidal all the time and depressed.