I Miss My Husband
Being separated is so. Incredibly. LONELY. After a month of us both living in our own apartments, kids with me most of the time, and many weepy nights later, we both decided we don't want a divorce.
However, we are still going to live separate until God knows when, and I don't like it! I miss my family being together! He isn't ready to think that far ahead, whether we should buy our first home finally or rent again... or maybe he will have grown fond of being separate like this.
I just feel so down about it all. There's no one to help me around the house or with the kids. There's no good morning or goodnight kisses and smiles. There's no more family goofing around or us parents snuggling together while we watch our children play together. when the kids have gone to bed, I have no one to talk to. Gone is the time of night that would be for just us. Gone is the man waiting for me to come home from work. Gone are the moments of sweet affection.
I can hear the words of a family member echoing in my head from our wedding day as photos were being taken: "you can just tell they are going to be one of those couples that makes it."
It's like everything we were died. Seven years going on eight, and the memories are just... memories. They stop suddenly when I look back. A large heavy curtain falls and there's no more "feel good" memories. It's a sense of being in limbo and waiting... waiting for the certainty that he wants to rebuild our lives as much as I do and waiting for this part to be over.
However, we are still going to live separate until God knows when, and I don't like it! I miss my family being together! He isn't ready to think that far ahead, whether we should buy our first home finally or rent again... or maybe he will have grown fond of being separate like this.
I just feel so down about it all. There's no one to help me around the house or with the kids. There's no good morning or goodnight kisses and smiles. There's no more family goofing around or us parents snuggling together while we watch our children play together. when the kids have gone to bed, I have no one to talk to. Gone is the time of night that would be for just us. Gone is the man waiting for me to come home from work. Gone are the moments of sweet affection.
I can hear the words of a family member echoing in my head from our wedding day as photos were being taken: "you can just tell they are going to be one of those couples that makes it."
It's like everything we were died. Seven years going on eight, and the memories are just... memories. They stop suddenly when I look back. A large heavy curtain falls and there's no more "feel good" memories. It's a sense of being in limbo and waiting... waiting for the certainty that he wants to rebuild our lives as much as I do and waiting for this part to be over.
31-35, F
