I Miss My Husband

I miss who he used to be before his addiction to drugs changed him.
I miss our family being together. It’s just me and my kiddos now.
I miss cuddling in bed and sweet kisses goodnight. My two year old kicks me out of my bed now, but she loves cuddles.
I miss the man that cared for his body and hygiene and left a good smell on his sweater when I wore it. That used to be a comfort. I don’t remember what he smells like anymore.
I miss having another adult that would always ask me how my day was, and I looked forward to coming home after work knowing it was our time with the kids in bed.
As his addiction turned him into a stranger that was always tired, he slipped away and stopped caring for his children like he used to. They no longer followed an evening routine and seldom had pajamas on or their teeth brushed when I got home after 10pm from work. And he and I argued about everything all the time.
Now, My children still go to bed late, but they know Mom will be getting them ready for bed and tucked in warm. Their dad is not here.
I miss yesterday-9 years ago yesterday. It hurts.

Tatsumi · 31-35, M

I'm sorry. Addiction can be pretty cruel for everyone involved.

But. The past is the past. It's not coming back. Dwelling will only hurt you. It's gone and dead. Life is in the future. And the present deserves the most focus.

Starkizzed21 · 31-35, F

@Tatsumi just when you think you’re done grieving and have a handle on it... nope.

Tatsumi · 31-35, M

@Starkizzed21 I know. But, the memories will fade into the background, if you let them. They might pop back up every now and then, but so long as you don't indulge them, it won't hurt so much.